navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #28 » Path of A Tear (revised)
Open Poetry #28
Post A Reply Post New Topic Path of A Tear (revised) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Bonnie j
Senior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 1588
Ohio

0 posted 2003-08-25 07:34 PM


Path of A Tear

A tear gently touching reddened cheeks.
Trickling down shower walls
and
spiraling down a hole leading
to waters of dirty crystal
and
to manmade power plants.
This tear traveling to rivers,
lakes and to the oceans
of the world.
That single tear making
patterns of crisscross design.
This elaborate design
spilling over onto the
soils of earth.
This tear sharing with mother earth
the nutrients of life
and
touchable radiance.
Ah!
The path of the tear
Look at theflourishing beauty
of that single tear.
Praise to the powers that be.
Praise
The Path of A Tear.

© Copyright 2003 Bonnie j - All Rights Reserved
Brigid WillowKeeper
Member
since 2003-08-24
Posts 88
OHIO IN USA
1 posted 2003-08-25 07:44 PM


Again, very good, but I can't see the differance, but mabye a word or two.
Bonnie j
Senior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 1588
Ohio
2 posted 2003-08-25 07:58 PM


Hi
Glad you reread this one. I changed several lines. Adding here and taking away on others.
Same idea just a little different. I do this with my writings all the time I reread and reread and change. Then maybe I'm happy with it.Maybe not.Sometimes I have an idea, then I don't know how to end it. I have several poems started with no ending.Oh! Well!. Maybe one day I'll have an ending.Again thanks for your imput.
See Ya Bon-Bon

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2003-08-25 09:34 PM


An enjoyable unique read, Bonnie.
Don't worry about endings. Some things shouldn't end.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #28 » Path of A Tear (revised)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary