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Kielo
Senior Member

since 2002-02-11

Posts 1109

0 posted 2003-08-23 12:47 PM

Every time I see you
walking towards me
I shiver with dread.
My memory is good,
and I remember clearly
your power over me,
my utter helplessness.
I never could say no to you...
Not then, and not now,
and that is why I am
so afraid of you.

It doesn't take long, though,
until I remember feeling needed
when I'm with you,
feeling special and beautiful,
and suddenly I'm not afraid
of you, but of losing you...
You are so important to me,
i remember, and i need you,
because i know you need me,
i know i'm special to you...
That's how i find myself
saying yes again,
eagerly,
following like the well-trained
(needy and hurting)
young woman that i am.

You are beautiful and you
set me free,
for just a while, and then
you are gone.

i am left with only
the realization of what i have done,
and fear of you turns to terror...
but it doesn't matter,
because when i see you again,
i will feel needed, feel special,
and somehow i will find myself
bewitched again,
saying yes before you ask.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

1 posted 2003-08-23 01:13 AM

"following like the well-trained
(needy and hurting)
young woman that i am."

~ this pains me to read! You are sooooo much more than that! I understand that kind of spell that we woman can be put under...but we also have the power to break it!

EA

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

2 posted 2003-08-23 02:01 AM

god i love this but i hate the fact that i can actually relate..i've let what you wrote happen to me too many times...my eyes are sooo tired and i'm about to cry some more...blah sorry rambling...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

3 posted 2003-08-23 02:59 AM

you have expressed your feelings well here,,,

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

4 posted 2003-08-23 03:01 AM

Fabulous write.. emotions are strong..and strength..

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

5 posted 2003-08-23 03:33 AM

i am left with only
the realization of what i have done,
and fear of you turns to terror...
but it doesn't matter,
because when i see you again,
i will feel needed, feel special,
and somehow i will find myself
bewitched again,
saying yes before you ask.

Kielo, though this is sad to me,
it is written beautifully.

JilGirl
Member

since 2003-05-24

Posts 364
Washington

6 posted 2003-08-23 04:39 AM

Deeply emotional write, very finely
penned.

A sad place to be, caught between the
need to be loved and the fear of a
controlling other. Genuine love is
missing from that other. True love
cannot wear those two faces!

Too often, women remain in such a
situation not fully aware of the fact
that they deserve consistant love and
a better relationship yet fear keeps
them there.

Blessings to you!
Shirl~

[This message has been edited by JilGirl (08-23-2003 04:41 AM).]

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant

since 2000-07-06

Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England

7 posted 2003-08-23 06:53 AM

Sometimes it is the 'realness' of love that scares us, and yet we can't seem to help ourselves when it briefly touches us again. Yes, you expressed yourself beautifully in this writing, and I enjoyed every moment of reading! ~S~

Accept these small gifts from my gypsy heart ~~S~~

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

8 posted 2003-08-23 06:56 AM

a strong and powerful write! I can relate to this very well - thanks for sharing

Kielo
Senior Member

since 2002-02-11

Posts 1109

9 posted 2003-08-23 01:41 PM

EA... The funny thing is, that's what I told myself last time...

I'll keep that in mind though.

Ceinwyn... I know exactly how you feel. *hugs* Believe me, there's nothing wrong with crying. I don't do it often enough.

QjQ... Thank you

Kaoru... Thank you very much. From you that is definitely saying something.

Ethel... I don't seem to be able to write happy, but beautiful will do. *soft smile* Thank you so much.

Shirl... Thank you for the compliment, and for the wisdom.

Sunnyone... Thank you, and that's exactly it!

Roniece... Thank you, and I'm sorry that you can relate. It isn't a fun place to be, eh?

Thank you all for reading and replying.... I really didn't expect this much response. I'm humbled by how good you people are to me.

Kielo

wounded and broken and hurting.... what scares me is that I'm starting to just not care, except that I wish I could cry the pain away....

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

10 posted 2003-08-23 03:10 PM

Great job on this, Kielo. You've expressed it well.
Hugs,
~Vicky
"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

11 posted 2003-08-23 06:11 PM

Very nicely expressed Kielo.

Enjoyed.

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)

Janette

Member Elite

since 2001-07-20

Posts 2843
Chicagoland for now

12 posted 2003-08-23 06:32 PM

"It doesn't take long, though,
until I remember feeling needed
when I'm with you,
feeling special and beautiful,
and suddenly I'm not afraid
of you, but of losing you..."

So true, so true ... when influenced with the exotic drug of "love" it is difficult to recall the grief he has caused. Please ... be careful with your tender heart, I wish you well.

always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

13 posted 2003-08-24 05:04 PM

*BUGS*

There's nothing like a good fight with a horse to put your problems into perspective
Happy Trails To You

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

14 posted 2003-08-24 07:33 PM

Hey chick, do we know the same person?

they leave you physically trembling inside and out. god you took me there. sstong emotions here.

Glad I'm not alone.

hugs

Instant karma's gonna get you.

Kielo
Senior Member

since 2002-02-11

Posts 1109

15 posted 2003-08-24 07:39 PM

Vicky, DA, thank you.

Jannette, thank you. You have a caring heart, and it shows.

Skyfire.... My dear Sky, what can I say? Maybe one day I'll grow up enough that you won't have to worry about me.... lol.... fat chance, eh? Oh well, we look out for each other, yah?

gemma.... Of course we do. He's called male. (Excuse my predjudice. I am not in any way referring to anyone on pip.

) And you know what I'm learning? No one is alone.

Kielo

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