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stone children
| Open Poetry #27 |
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stone children |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Stone children in a Garden * June 12, 2003 By ice * Out along the flat-stone path Across from north he calls To a girl, twelve year old slim Stepping, bare toes testing A dry stream to ford. * Her, and the rock stream, due south Both make-believe phantasies Stone-dead cold yet, are they Not as live as you and me, In some long-past childhood dream? * She has come up the meadow From the pond, Redwings On rushes have shown her the way; Crossed the fence, caught her dress On splintery rails, but does not care. * She has Come To greet (in secret) her first love But shied to open all at once Too many gates; her old bounds Falling like toe-tripped hurdles * His voice thrown, catches in leaves The tree hydrangea receives Lets words fall, echoing Softly, on hard patina ears... She,stepping around soft-blades Of miscanthus, thankful her face Is hard-ceramic, if not He might catch its blush; Husker-red, as nearby penstemons. * Eyes looking down, a pretending At staring to keep balance Innocent, as rock can be She fakes well, a nonchalance That hides her shyness Hesitates a moment... Then takes another step To further cross. * end |
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| © Copyright 2003 ford hume - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
So much going on in here, and well worth another read when I have more time. Just wanted you to know I read it, and am intrigued. I also want to offer my Welcome to Pips, ice.  |
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visitvenus Member
since 2002-12-30
Posts 101PA, USA |
Awesome first post! Welcome to Passions!  -Venus |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  (smiles) This is a wonderful debut, dearest friend, I felt as though I was there...in Versailles or some enchanted marble palace watching porcelain being glazed and a fair maiden out there in the garden trying to polish the plate to a fine clair de lune! (big hugggssssssss) I love it! Welcome to Passions, sweet friend, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
!!!! Welcome to PIP!!!!!! FANTASTIC first post! I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. |
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JilGirl Member
since 2003-05-24
Posts 364Washington |
I'm impressed! You've a novel, here! I need a re-read to catch up on the chapters within! Terrific write! I enjoyed the uniqueness of your style. WELCOME to PIP! Blessings! Shirl Till oceans cease to flow and deserts lose their sands, may beauty surround you every day and wealth be in your hands. |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Wow! What a nice reception to this forum... :-) I am new here as you know, and by the way, computer challeneged. How do I send individual replys to each commentor? Until I learn how, I will do a group hugs and here thank JilGirl, KoKO, Mistletoe angle, Visit Venus and Midnightsun for their nice comments.Hope to figure this out soon...thank you all again...ice |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Welcome to Passions, Ice. A lot of new members come in "computer challenged" so one of the things I can do is offer to show you to Member's Area/Help, where we have information not only on our guidelines, but HTML and UBB help as well. Just click on the area above, and you will find all kinds of information to get you on your way. You may also contact any moderator and they will be glad to assist you as well. Please, check your E-mail for a Special Greeting! Karilea - if I whisper, will you listen? |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
This is the kind of poetry that I love to read. You've created a fantastic mix of real and surreal, which left me trying to decipher exactly what you intended with this... either a description of actual children in a garden, the "stone children" aspect being merely for an image effect... or you're doing what Keats did with the Grecian Urn, and using a permanent, fixed state to describe some suggested storyline and events surrounding a pair of imagined characters... What I can say with a certainty is that your style is solid and involving, and I fully enjoyed reading this, and reading it over a couple of times to try and better understand it. I wouldn't mind you offering a little insight into the deeper meaning of this one, if you'd be willing...  Oh, and if you're talking about responding to people individually in this particular thread, this forum lacks that feature... most of us just do what you did, and encompass our message to each person in a single reply. A great way to show your appreciation for someone, though, is to reply to one of their poems as well... after all, that's how piptalk works... you get back every bit that you put in. Welcome to piptalk. I'll try my best to keep an eye on your posts, but you'll notice I'm not terribly active in this forum. Your title happened to catch my eye. Regardless of whether or not I get to see your involvement each step of the way, though, what I do know is you've got a lot to offer this community and I hope that you stick around and continue posting for quite some time. Parasite Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Hi Sunshine.:-) Thanks for the welcome and information. I did see your e-mail and enjoyed the painting of the child, it fit the poem perfectly, thanks again. This forum is very busy, which is refreshing to me. Perhaps poetry is still very much alive in the world...ice |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Hi Local Parasite.:-) Thank you for the nice comments. The poem is a mixture of real and surreal. I am a landscape designer and own a small design/build company. The statues are in a garden that I designed, and in part , this is a real story. It is the surreal part that I have worded into this poem, which is a try at manipulation of solid ceramic forms into the fluidity of life. In that respect I am somewhat old fashioned, your mention of Keats brought a smile to my face. Perhaps the loss of childhood innocense shows a bit in this poem (and perhaps a small bit of Yeats has also rubbed off on me?)Anyway, gardens are always in states of transition, nothing stays the same, things grow and die and I write my garden designs the same as poems, with that in mind. I have responded to other poets in this forum, love to do that. Actually I own a poetry chatroom on the starlink network,( a little spam here)so I am used to critique and critiquing. It is called "Poetry Today Online" Poets come there from all over the world to share their work and also classic, world poetry. (this is an invitaion to join us sometime) If you would like more information, please e-mail me. Thanks for the warm welcome, I am going to like it here....ice |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Oh, I don't think it's about a loss of childhood innocence at all -- but about rediscovery.  The world never tires of boy meets girl. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
awesome writing! Welcome to Passions Ice Looking forward to more! |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
this is exceptional, very intriguing, and yes....surreal... Welcome to Passions.. Hope you enjoy our home.. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
ice: amazing entrance loved this story that you unfolded before my eyes and yet it continues elsewhere . . . beautiful writing xxoo |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Welcome to Passions, ice...very much enjoyed this first post of yours...more please? ! |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Wow! More nice comments, places like this will keep poetry alive..:-) Thank you Local Rebel, Passing Shaddows, Magnus, Little Wing and Martie for the compliments and greetings.....ice |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
WELCOME TO PIP ARCTIC WIND |
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