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Open Poetry #27
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Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a

0 posted 2003-07-15 02:56 PM



It was truly quite an awful sight,
It happened late one Saturday night,
After a night of drinking,
Just an hour before daylight.

Cpat Hair had to pee,
But couldn't find his "spout"
He'd grown a large spare tire ya see,
His belly stuck way out.

His girlfriend suggested:
"Honey please listen to me,
I think you need to "diet"
You're as wide as Tennessee.!"

Hair had listened to her plea,
But didn't agree with the "diet"
He said it wouldn't matter what color "it" was,
He still wouldn't be able to find it!

He wasn't alone that Saturday night,
He was drinking with Balladeer,
'Deer said, "Hair don't be concerned,
I haven't seen mine in years!"

[This message has been edited by Toerag (07-15-2003 03:06 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Toerag - All Rights Reserved
Eliza
Member
since 2002-11-18
Posts 58

1 posted 2003-07-15 02:58 PM



That's our Toe....
as rapscallion as ever...

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
2 posted 2003-07-15 03:08 PM


in my opinion, I don't think this is funny
but I am a hard one to please...when it comes to jesting.

Anyway, I don't believe you on this one, cause I know what the Balladeer looks like (in clothes) and he is a "mighty fine" specimen. Did I spell that correctly????
hugs
M

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
3 posted 2003-07-15 03:13 PM


Well...I guess ya just had to be there..but I figured with the kind of "thoughts" nekkidthoughts would have...you'd be able to imagine Balladeer....and besides, you probably didn't meet him without his girdle on.....and, it may not just be Balladeer's waist that keeps him from being able to find such small objects........................
................small things with those bifocals can be difficult to find too yanno?

[This message has been edited by Toerag (07-15-2003 03:14 PM).]

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
4 posted 2003-07-15 03:20 PM





hey you, you are baddd and until I can compare him to you I have nothing else to add  

but believe me, he was in good shape....at least last summer he was, even if he did fall through the bedsprings of that sleepsofa.

Hey Michael
M
btw, I have all kinds of naked thoughts, I just keep most to myself...for now.

[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (07-15-2003 03:22 PM).]

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
5 posted 2003-07-15 03:22 PM


Well, I sent you an email this morning...with a nekkid picture of me to add to your thoughts...but ya didn't respond...so, So much for my physique...right?...
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
6 posted 2003-07-15 03:29 PM


oh was that from you...let me check and see if I deleted it...brb  

I think that Chihuahua changed that leopard's spots, don't you?

But I didn't seem to find a download anywhere...shucks...could you send that pic again

[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (07-15-2003 03:33 PM).]

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
7 posted 2003-07-15 03:47 PM


LOL, Maureen, I was just thinking that I didn't get a picture with my e-mail?

Toe, Captain Ron amd Ball-deer are going to get you!!!  

You're a mess, ya know it?
Hugs  
Ethel

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2003-07-15 04:27 PM


Toerag
LOL I see your adding to the list.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
9 posted 2003-07-15 05:12 PM


Thank you, Maureen, for standing up for me. You are a sweetheart and, in a bathing suit, a knockout! (I didn't stare...honest!)

I doubt you'll get a picture from Toerag. Most ISP's have filters for such obscenities and, even if it does get through, it'll go directly to junk mail. Besides, I understand his pic has been declared illegal in 34 states. Great to see your words

Toe,
Don't try to write a ditty
About the good Deer's little bitty
Cause you got the whole thing wrong.

You'd have to write an epic,
My little epileptic,
And be sure you make it LONG!


Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
10 posted 2003-07-15 05:58 PM


Balladeer....there's nothing but "short" stories about you fella....I understand your lady said you're the second best lover she ever had.....bad thing is..there's 27 guys tied for first place!
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

11 posted 2003-07-15 06:20 PM


Well Toe... seems I now owe you one bud.. I'll have to ponder abit and see if I can't come up with one that's fit to post here.. LOL.. didn't take me too long to work up one unfit for general consumption... but unlike you don't see fit to post them... LMAO...

As for 'Deer... I'd say his favorite author is longfellow... gave him something to aspire to as he was growing up... but... somethings are just beyond our control.



Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
12 posted 2003-07-15 07:26 PM


Gimme a break, Ron! I'm just a Poe boy....
Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
13 posted 2003-07-16 01:56 PM


LMAO
glad to see you've still got it

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
14 posted 2003-07-16 02:29 PM


I see the playground is OPEN. LOL

Don't worry, guys
'Bout your spare tire
For tubbies too
Feel passion's fire!
So if your search
By looking fails
Do not despair...
There's always Braille!



Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
15 posted 2003-07-16 02:35 PM


If our dear Captain were to find IT, he could dye it, "Tickled Pink!" LOL

Love & Laughter,
EA

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