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Open Poetry #27
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script
| Open Poetry #27 |
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script |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa 
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LONG SHOT: a huge field of blooming wildflowers purples, blues, whites, etc. Mountains in distance PAN LEFT: we see Him... PAN RIGHT: there is Her... CLOSE SHOT HIM: his eyes far away...on her eyes straining....hands fidget CLOSE SHOT HER: her eyes swim...to him she tugs unconscious at hair brings it to mouth MEDIUM SHOT HIM: he is running...through wildflowers....bounding like a stag.....grunting with need MEDIUM SHOT HER: she is running...through wildflowers...bounding like a doe whimpering with need FASTER SHOTS.... TIGHTER HIM: he is running out of control... he speaks....like words torn from throat...her name TIGHTER HER: she is running out of control... hair fanning behind her...her voice ragged as she speaks his name LONG SHOT: we see the two lovers closing in on each other...suddenly they both stop TIGHT SHOT HIM: he is doubled over...coughing furiously...throat closing wheezes he gasps... TIGHT SHOT HER: she is prone on the ground writhing agony...holding her ankle MEDIUM SHOT HIM: he, still hunched over and coughing, stumbles forward toward her MEDIUM SHOT HER: she, crawling painfully, fights her way through the wildflowers towards him EXTREME TIGHT SHOT HIM: we see fierce in his eyes EXTREME TIGHT SHOT HER: we see fierce in her eyes MEDIUM SHOT BOTH: they near each other..moving as fast as they can LONG SHOT: we see them join, he hunched over, falls down to her...her hand, once gripping her ankle, now grasps him lingering shot...on their need for each other...they clutch each other with utter passion LONG SHOT PAN UP: camera leaves them and travels up to sky keeps going into deep blue END |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I don't know how to type silence. If I could write "awe"--I would... oh this is flute and pan pipe.... you are SO lovely.  There is bergamot in that field, I promise that. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
damn |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Through anything.... *smiling* some folks are just THAT persistent... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
[speaking of persistent....  ] |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Yes, the bump was a good idea. I like this scripting, nice to think that foibles are "written in" |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
brian...so fresh and human and made me smile at the truth of it. Thanks for this! |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
I'm glad this was bumped back up. I would have hated to have missed it. I really need to read more on the other pages. I lot of really good poetry gets pushed on so fast when so many are posting. I love the way you wrote this. It's really true.  "If I know there's no possible way I can change something or do about something, then I push it to the back room in my mind & slam the door on it." ~Gary~ ~Heart hugs from me to you~ Ethel [This message has been edited by garysgirl (07-07-2003 03:15 PM).] |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
BRAVO! loved those panoramic shots |
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Jennis#1 Member
since 2003-07-08
Posts 112IL, Usa |
Awsome job. 10 tumbs up.   keep on writting. |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
 I know what I'm thinking about!!! If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
you painted a beautiful picture. enjoyed the script. Maree fate is not just |
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Janette
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843Chicagoland for now |
coughing? Hahaha ... sorry but the first thought that came to my mind was ... perhaps alergies? Honestly, I was anticipating a possible joke ending. But then you made it into a very romantic romp ... ending it like all the old movies do ... implying the ... ending. Thus I adored this write ... an exciting romp through the flowers ... oh mannnnnn! You kept my attention until the very end. Enjoyed. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Bri? LMAO - I saw you guys EXACTLY like this sorry - this is lovely but you did make me smile xxoo |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
I imagined the whole thing. You reallt create an image If art is still inside, I feel it |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
brian - I'm glad I stopped by for a read... BC |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
I'm so glad I found this before it got buried in the depths of blue. Smiling at this...and loving it. You're amazing, Brian. Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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