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Which is more Important
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Which is more Important |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland 
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This is a toughie I'll need to think of an example, but what is more important rules and regulations or feelings????? eg. Even though you know it is wrong to play on the road, occasionally with parents consent and watching you it is alright isn't it? Here goes.....  Isis *I believe every time you put your words to paper, you change. Each feeling is set free, and you may follow.....* ~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit. |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
What makes you think it necessarily has to be one or the other? If a rule isn't important, very simply it shouldn't exist. To use your own example, no, I don't think it's all right for a young child to play in the street, even with supervision. Because teaching a child it's okay with supervision almost guarantees he'll be doing it tomorrow without supervision. In this case, the rule exists to protect the youngster. And that must override making the child (or the adult who breaks the rule, which is usually the real issue) feel good for five minutes. Loving a kid is good. Spoiling a kid, by casting aside discipline and rules, is bad. Even if it makes you feel good to do it. I'm not suggesting that rules should always preclude compassion. Not by any means. But, sadly, a great deal of human suffering is the result of letting fleeting emotions overrule wisdom. If a rule is wrong, then it should be overturned. But if it is the right thing to do, feeling bad about it won't make it any less right. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
No feeling is "right or wrong" they are our feelings, but rules are needed for structure in a civilized society, I couldn't place importance on either, only note the validity of both. Interesting thoughts, Isis, interesting. What is that you express in your eyes? It seems to me more than all the words I have read in my life. Walt Whitman |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
There are two kinds of rules... those that make sense will be followed usually without much debate by everyone -- like stopping at stop signs... only real moron's will violate those kind of rules.... It is important for everyone to follow those kind of rules regardless of how bad they feel they need to get through the intersection in a hurry... then... there is the other kind of rule -- which is designed to benefit the rulers... people usually will not follow them -- because they don't make sense -- which gives the rulers an excuse to persecute just about anyone they have a notion to.. Hate is a dead thing. Who of you would be a tomb? -Kahlil Gibran |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
A fill in.... Dylan was not allowed to ride his bike (on training wheels) on the road period. Then as he became more proficient at handling the bike, he begged us (my hubbie and I) to allow a 'special treat' of riding it on the road with one of us riding with him. Against unsure judgement I relented and rode with him on the road for a few minutes, after explaining this was merely a special treat. So in effect, I have killed my authority with him? Showed him rules can be broken etc??? Phew! I don't know this parenting thing gets tough at times, it really does. Since then we haven't ridden on the road again, but now I see (with a little help) that I have unleashed a demon that could come back and bite me in the future. It's tough isn't it? What do you do when they say to you 'You are mean, you never let me do anything!'???? Normally I come back with it's for your own good, that isn't safe etc. But ultimately they still see you as mean. I have since reminded him we won't be doing the road thing again. Well to finish on a happy note the training wheels came off yesterday in under a year!! He is so proud of himself.. Isis *I believe every time you put your words to paper, you change. Each feeling is set free, and you may follow.....* ~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
If I may, I'd like to take this a bit farther. . . I would say that feelings (or emotions) would have to go hand in hand with rules and regulations. Example: Your child is playing the road (which you have told them not to do). . . they get hit by a car. What is your first instinct? To reprimand the child for breaking your rule? Or does the concern come first? I would say that concern must come first. . . then you can remind the child that he or she has broken your rules. Just my opinion. . . -------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
So true Sven!!! Dylan ran into traffic recently to save that three legged dog I told you about, and I rescued him first, yelled second Good point.Isis *I believe every time you put your words to paper, you change. Each feeling is set free, and you may follow.....* ~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Hi Isis, I have to say I agree with every word that Local Rebel said on this subject. For your particular situation, I would say it is situational, how busy is the road? Also, consider how many things we let our kids do with us, that they could not or would not be allowed to do without us? Lots and lots, I think. So don't feel guilty cause you let him do something he wanted to do, he was safe as long as you were there. Sandra |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Well Sandra, just in case you come back to read this. 1. The street is a quiet cul-de-sac with only 7 houses.. 2. I am always there... Isis *I believe every time you put your words to paper, you change. Each feeling is set free, and you may follow.....* ~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit. |
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