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sister3of4
Junior Member

since 2003-04-11

Posts 16
Northumberland, England

0 posted 2003-04-14 03:12 PM

I wrote this sestina at a workshop I attended just a couple of weeks ago.
Tha air was laced with the smell of smoke,
As I wandered in quietful solitude,
Down to the wood where the peace hung loud,
On passed the carefully layered hedge,
Cross the stream whispering in its bed,
To where you waited when we were young.

Do you remember when we were young?
When, ripe from the sun and the smell of smoke,
Down in a hollow we made our bed,
Were lost in the blissful solitude
Of the budding trees and layered hedge,
Enraptured as the birds sang loud.

The beat of your heart was sure and loud,
Filled with the certainties of the young,
Safe and snug behind the layered hedge,
Our dreams substantial as wisps of smoke,
How we loved the perfect solitude
Of our hidden, secret bracken bed.

Preferring to seek our bracken bed
When our lives beacame to shrill and loud
We would revel in the solitude,
Enjoying the loving and being young,
Breathing in the acrid smell of smoke,
Secreted behind the layered hedge.

When birds left the layered hedge,
And the bracken wilted in our bed,
Our eyes watered in the pungent smoke
And the outside world became too loud
We left the green wood to the young,
Deserted the ancient solitude.

You no longer yearn for solitude,
And ignore the hoary layered hedge,
You say dreams are only for the young,
You forgot about our bracken bed,
Your eyes are distant, your voice too loud,
You shy away from the smell of smoke.

I smell smoke and recall solitude,
When birds sang loud in the layered hedge
That masked the bracken bed where we were young.

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant

since 2000-07-06

Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England

1 posted 2003-04-14 04:55 PM

This is a wonderfully poignant write, and it painted pictures that speak of young love, and the awareness of life. Enjoyed it very much, and glad to have you here at Passions!

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

2 posted 2003-04-15 03:59 PM

Beautiful write...how did it get missed??

believe in what your heart feels...

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

3 posted 2003-04-16 10:55 PM

This is absolutely wonderful...the pictures you paint in progression of seasons and time...

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

4 posted 2003-04-16 11:44 PM

This is a beautiful write and I'm glad that I didn't miss it this go-round. Our pages are so busy, when we're off the computer for a few hours we get way behind in out reading. Sorry.

I really enjoyed reading this.

Hugs,
Ethel

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2003-04-20 01:12 PM

good write, I enjoyed

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

6 posted 2003-04-20 02:23 PM

written from history and history has many mystery's

sister3of4
Junior Member

since 2003-04-11

Posts 16
Northumberland, England

7 posted 2003-05-07 02:37 PM

Thank you for your kind comments, glad you liked it.

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