Rita's part 5 (The Old Drunk)

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2003-04-23 10:45 AM

I thought the kids jaw
Was going to stretch out and hit the floor.
Dishwasher stung him,
And I grinned at being right
About him having pride.

Now, I wondered,
How bad do you need cash
Or how much pride can you manage
To put aside to see where
This offer goes?

I watched him a minute
Talking to Jean,
Then turned back to my coffee
Knowing he had to make the choice
And he had to live with it.

I heard Jean saying something to him
About the old drunk
And spit coffee out through my nose
And choked trying not to laugh.

I washed dishes there last night
So I must be the old drunk she
Said had walked out,
and calling me Merle!

Just like Jean,
To play along with what I asked
And turn it back on me in some way.

I’d met her just like the kid had.
I came in to eat and she had served me
Swearing I couldn’t finish what I ordered
And with me, she was right.

Too many years of bottling anger inside,
Fighting battles in a corporate world that measured
You on today and the last minute
Rather than what you contributed long term
Had left a hole in my gut
That Malox only took the edge off.

When I had finished what I could
She had come over, slid across from me in the booth
And asked a few pointed questions
About my plans.

I answered honestly
Performing only minor sins of omission
In this confession of the sins
And received absolution in her eyes.

When she asked what I was going to do next,
I just shrugged.
She laughed, got up and came back a few minutes later
With an apron she tossed at me and said
“Well, If you don’t have plans, go wash dishes.”

I tied on the apron and she showed me into the kitchen
Where I began to wash the pile of left over breakfast dishes
Thinking to myself that any purpose was better than none
And here at least I was cleaning up a mess
Instead of making one out of my life.

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (04-23-2003 10:49 AM).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2003-04-23 10:52 AM

Amazing, the ones
that can see through you
no matter how thick
the brick...

we're called

s

and we keep well
the secrets
you try so hard
to hide...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

2 posted 2003-04-23 11:10 AM

I am enjoying these SO much!
Excellent writing m'friend..
Can't wait to see what Dunc comes up with now.

~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

3 posted 2003-04-23 01:53 PM

"Thinking to myself that any purpose was better than none."

I utterly love your talent and ability to keep the story moving and creating the depth of the characters of even, Jean... such a delight....

enjoying these reads,

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

4 posted 2003-04-23 02:12 PM

I heard Jean saying something to him
About the old drunk
And spit coffee out through my nose
And choked trying not to laugh.

I washed dishes there last night
So I must be the old drunk she
Said had walked out,
and calling me Merle!

Just like Jean,
To play along with what I asked
And turn it back on me in some way.
=========================

Your "sometimes we just gotta laugh at life and ourselves" sense of humor always adds humility to your writes and is one of the many things that is the sum total of your gifts as a poet.

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

5 posted 2003-04-23 03:27 PM

"And here at least I was cleaning up a mess
Instead of making one out of my life."...we all need a chance to make something right...I'm truly enjoy the two takes from you and Duncan on the same scene...very inventive..

believe in what your heart feels...

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

6 posted 2003-04-23 07:55 PM

Remember 'On the Road' with Charles Kuralt? That's what your poetry reminds me of..a slice of honest to goodness down home life. Enjoyed this as I do all your work..and I'm waiting in line for your book 'Snippets of Life' from Cpat.

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

7 posted 2003-04-23 08:24 PM

Excellent Cpat. I love this story! Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....

-Emily Dickinson

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.