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Open Poetry #26
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slow rain chant (as the thunder rolls)
| Open Poetry #26 |
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slow rain chant (as the thunder rolls) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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"Slow rain, Slow rain" (chanted to the sky) gritted dust between my teeth. "Slow rain, slow rain," (I cried alive) Believing I must believe. "Slow rain, slow rain?" (I begged to die) My palms embraced the air. "Slow rain, slow rain" (I was crucified) I am the sacrifice. "Slow rain, slow rain?" Purified-- the paintings of the sands of mind... "slow rain, slow rain" (chanted to the sky) just as the thunder rolls... |
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| © Copyright 2003 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Great metaphors Celeste. A very provocative read. Stimulates the need for reflections.... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
geez, and I came back to delete this yanno. sssssssssssheesh. You guys need to get some SLEEP now and then.   and thank you.  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
"Slow rain, slow rain" (I was crucified) I am the sacrifice. "Slow rain, slow rain?" Purified-- the paintings of the sands of mind... "slow rain, slow rain" (chanted to the sky) =========================== dont you dare delete such lovely rhymes... let it rain baby.  |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Whoa! I hear the thunder rolling in this chant. Love it Ser! Do not delete! ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Nope...libraried, so you can't delete... this carries the reader.... it's deliberate and pending what? Disaster, doom...or just the acknowledgement of sadness draped over our shoulders.... yes...it rolls |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
What a unique and interesting write! I easily got into the mood and the rhythm of this piece! Have a great day! EA |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
serenity reading this like a song, simple, yet bringing out complex feelings. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
"...the paintings of the sands of mind...." Great image. Sand paintings are so vivid and yet can vanish in a moment. Goes well with slow rolling thunder (but then most things do, *smile* ). Well done, thank you for sharing it. (and for NOT deleting it!) |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice read |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thank you all for your long suffering patience. And about the "delete" thing? I was just writing "straight to keys" again, and istead of posting, I would say "NAWWWWW....." and hit "Clear Fields"--and it suddenly dawns on me now that's not a bad metaphor!  See? shaking my head at me...I should go cook supper before I do that again. Thanks for reading. Hugs to all. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
""slow rain, slow rain" (chanted to the sky)" Just needed to take a little walk in the rain. Hugs, you.  "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
dang! very cool! |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
""Slow rain, slow rain?" Purified-- the paintings of the sands of mind..." I just know you wrote this for me LOVED it! |
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