open-mic nites [acoustic#2]

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christian
Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 331

0 posted 2002-12-19 01:41 PM

    open-mic nites [acoustic #2]
    ----------------------------

    mixed up again--displaced, misplaced
    in black eyeliner ..
    rainbow bracelets and fishnets
    make them stare,
    but she wears them so well
    always be some parkbench dreamer
    in the backseat of buses
    sharing cornerstore cigarettes with hollywood
    little red riding hood--she's so twisted
    she's so lost
    and she don't know
    horoscopes say shes beautiful
    and i think so too
    and when it rains, she screams confetti ..

    baby, it's past your bedtime
    and i've run out of fairytales to say
    to take you away
    from the glimmer that won't take you ..

    and it's getting too late for indie love songs
    on acoustic guitars
    and gigs in local bars
    lace him with shame
    because no one understands the poetry
    of chapped lips and open-mic nights
    faded streetlights
    misguide him
    in imperfect circles
    in checker squares
    into roadside motels
    like newyorkcity chess, such a beautiful mess
    and when stars begin to fade, you know ..

    it's past your bedtime
    and i've run out of fairytales to say
    to take you away
    from the glimmer that won't take you ..

    and i wish you'd understand
    my friend--here,

    strangers scream in monotone
    midnight taxicabs drive by
    sidewalks linger spiderwebs
    dreamcatchers serve as shanghai
    twisted formations
    to tie you up, and youre mixed up--again,
    displaced and misplaced
    in some place
    where you're too bright
    for the glimmer, that won't take you ..


    ---------------------------------------
    "and i dont want the world to see me
     because i don't think that theyd
     understand,
     when everythings meant to be broken
     i just want you to know"
    ---------------------------------------

[This message has been edited by christian (12-19-2002 01:43 PM).]

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2002-12-19 01:46 PM

Full of the edges of the night and darkness;
the rawness of this reminds me of a downtown LA night scene.
PS, it reminds me of MM. No, not eminem. You know who.

[This message has been edited by Midnitesun (12-19-2002 02:07 PM).]

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

2 posted 2002-12-19 02:10 PM

rofg.....I read this acrostic instead of acoustic and was trying to make something out of "mirmbaislsahaabatfaoalbofmiiilaiatfamsmsdttdiwf"
good thing I went back and read the title again....
and well, this is catchy, but that's about all...to me anyway....it is all on the surface, what is the deeper meaning?
not saying every poem has to be deep, but what is this saying?

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2002-12-19 02:43 PM

"and when it rains, she screams confetti..."

many favorite lines in this one, loved the whole piece

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

4 posted 2002-12-19 02:51 PM

honestly... some good images and lines in this...it rambles around without making a point however.. like it was written to hear the sounds of the words only..not to explore the meaning behind them or the reason for the write...
just my opinion..................

Salty
Senior Member

since 2002-11-23

Posts 669
Texas

5 posted 2002-12-19 02:58 PM

mixed up again--displaced, misplaced
    in black eyeliner ..
    rainbow bracelets and fishnets
    make them stare,


I believe I know her.
A dark visit to familar places...you captured this very well.

In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
--Deepak Chop

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