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bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2003-01-10 01:27 PM

A compass row of gates.
Ramparts walled but for one breech.

Rifles clip from valley way,
silver stabbing lights in spark.

And when "Now" is the held cry,
to the walls the bullets pick

as man on man on man on man
upholds to reach the goal.

Stones are torn from hands by scopes.
A spreading darkness fills the rocks.

Many hundreds wracked and torn,
twisting words of losing breath.

On some day they will be "ruins,"
as the sea grows and recedes.

Losing blood to the white moon
awful in her sleep.

Finally the last rock falls
splintered at the stronghold's foot.

This moment's shelter offers stores,
food to carry, gold to horde.

One dark flag to mark one's fall
and the other's newest point.

There from which to plan one more.
And one more. And one more...

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2003-01-10 01:32 PM

ah... intense Mikey... and always one more and one more... enjoyed this bud...

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

2 posted 2003-01-10 01:36 PM

Thank you, Ron. I was trying to update an old poem from my memory -- which was a simplistic tale about someone building a temple on a mountain, only the weight of the building with the followers' inside breaks the temple and causes a landslide. Pretty obvious and stupid.

I'm glad this is what happened when I couldn't remember the original whatsoever.

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

3 posted 2003-01-10 01:50 PM

Squirrel dude...

NOTHING you write is ever obvious. Or stupid for that matter.

You have a way...It's hard to explain... of flashcarding images in stroboscope.

Cool tale dude,

Ed

Brrrr!

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

4 posted 2003-01-10 01:54 PM

Mike, as always this was very interesting....and good, by the way.....

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

5 posted 2003-01-10 02:48 PM

I enjoyed this thoroughly...such talent...you amaze me..what you can do with words!...

warm regards, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

6 posted 2003-01-10 04:55 PM

I swear I have some video footage somewhere of a battle re-enactment at Fort Jackson.

I saw it in my mind as I read...

Mikie..you are Jungian.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

7 posted 2003-01-10 05:10 PM

agreed with K and Ed, you have a way and you are jungian.

GOlDsparklESS
Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 428
central nj

8 posted 2003-01-11 01:08 AM

hmmm compressed/captivation~ oh yaknowwhatimean very NEATO.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

9 posted 2003-01-11 01:58 PM

*sigh*

I'm sorry that I never say anything long, detailed, or meaningful...it's just that your words fill my head and none of my own can form.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

10 posted 2003-01-12 02:02 AM

Thank you.

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