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Open Poetry #24
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Ada'doLisdo'ti
Member
since 2002-12-10
Posts 123
California

0 posted 2003-01-09 03:07 PM


Forever Don't Last

You said forever with a smile upon your face.
It's said when I think how quickly I was replaced.
Phone calls every once in awhile to say your okay.
We're still friends but you've gone your own way.

There were so many things we had left to do.
All the promises left unspoken.
But know I sit here crying my heart broken.
Forever don't last as long as it used to.

Tears at the funeral as we said goodbye.
I know I promised I wouldn't cry.
Seeing you there cold beauty intact.
The tears began to fall before I could react.

There were so many things we had left to do.
All the promises left unspoken.
But know I sit here crying my heart broken.
Forever don't last as long as it used to.

We all have someone we promised forever to.
We've all stood hearts in hand, from someone untrue.
We've all been touched by the death of love.
Spent nights crying to heaven above.

Because....
There were so many things we had left to do.
All the promises left unspoken.
But know I sit here crying my heart broken.
Forever don't last as long as it used to.


Of all I've lost; I miss my innocence  the most.

© Copyright 2003 Albert D Lopez - All Rights Reserved
Dulcinea
Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774
IN
1 posted 2003-01-09 06:30 PM


Wow, this is a really nice song, and one that is so true...well done.
Ada'doLisdo'ti
Member
since 2002-12-10
Posts 123
California
2 posted 2003-01-09 06:39 PM


Thank you
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2003-01-10 04:13 AM


I loved this one! Nice ending! This is what I've always believed...forever don't last.
secretlife
Member
since 2002-07-30
Posts 359
Grean Earth ,,,
4 posted 2003-01-10 05:36 AM


Enjoyed????


Hugessssss


regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
5 posted 2003-01-10 06:00 AM




Quite creative. The death of love...indeed we hold those funerals... sad...you wrote this well capturing the real feelings...


Hugs and warm regards, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
6 posted 2003-01-10 08:42 AM


Well, color me stupid or give me more coffee because I didn't get it at first.  I was like "Gee how can they call once in the while but be dead" ohhhhh hello, the death of the love/promise...good lord I need more sleep.  Anyway, I always say I no longer believe in "happily ever after" which of course is the theme of this write.  Good job, I really enjoyed it once the fog in my brain cleared.

Susan

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
7 posted 2003-01-10 08:48 AM


I was a little confused to start with, like Susan, until I figured out what the death was of. This was a good one. Is it a song? It does sound like it with the repeated chorus.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

defenestrate
Junior Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 46
nc, us
8 posted 2003-01-10 09:10 AM


i always dig time/change imagery in ended-relationship compositions. i'd like to see (presuming this is intended to be a song) how the delivery of the words would be done-what would get sped up, what would get slowed down, etc.
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
9 posted 2003-01-10 09:52 AM


enjoyed
Salty
Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669
Texas
10 posted 2003-01-10 10:07 AM


wow Powerful read.....loved the parables.
~Salty

In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
--Deepak Chop

Ada'doLisdo'ti
Member
since 2002-12-10
Posts 123
California
11 posted 2003-01-10 02:15 PM


THANKS ALL ENJOYED THE FEEDBACK, GLAD YOU LIKED IT.

Of all I've lost; I miss my innocence  the most.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
12 posted 2003-01-10 09:57 PM


Forever don't last as long as it used to.
*****************************************
Great line.
My condolences, for your loss.


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