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Open Poetry #24

The Devil in Disguise

smalls
Member

since 2002-12-20

Posts 62

0 posted 2003-01-09 02:45 AM

The Devil in Disguise

The Devil in Disguise.
Which one?
That one over there,
The one with the pretty long hair.

Says who?
She’s an angel.
Can’t you see,
Nothing can be so lovely.

Exactly, nothing can be.
The prettiest one is always it.
Always what it will be,
One everyone will see.

But who speaks of devilish deeds?
It’s the fact that she knows.
She has already lost,
Her vanity brings all costs.

My poetry online
http://www.geocities.com/mrlarrysmalls/

Superhero
New Member

since 2003-01-09

Posts 6
California, US

1 posted 2003-01-09 02:52 AM

beautifully written, the picture you paint is very vivid. i love the style you employ, with something similar to quiet contradiction, i really enjoyed it!

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

2 posted 2003-01-09 03:30 AM

I like it. It's nicely done.

My only thought is perhaps it could use a bit more... I was left thinking it was the shadow of possibility, a longer piece. Just my opinion.

~Titus

"A life unexamined is not worth living."
-Socrates

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

3 posted 2003-01-09 09:31 AM

Enjoyed this read. Yes, tell us more, stop teasing.

smalls
Member

since 2002-12-20

Posts 62

4 posted 2003-01-09 01:16 PM

Welcome Superhero! Teasing, heheheh... Thank you for your replies and appreciation! have some more coming up...

My poetry online
http://www.geocities.com/mrlarrysmalls/

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

5 posted 2003-01-09 06:10 PM

Very interesting, like your style of
presenting this...

Superhero
New Member

since 2003-01-09

Posts 6
California, US

6 posted 2003-01-10 01:06 AM

thanks for the welcome, and i cant wait to read some more. if i had something i would like to see in it, i think it would be a stanza about this she devil approaching and some description of an encounter. still amazing tho

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