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Open Poetry #24
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Bar Scene
| Open Poetry #24 |
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Bar Scene |
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enchantingvamp Member
since 2002-12-21
Posts 214Indiana, & NO there is NOT more than corn in Indiana, oughta go back to texas! |
A friend of mine knocked on my door begging me to come out with her last night to celebrate ring in the new year I really didnt feel like it but who am Ito deny a friend who was almost as lonley as I so we sat at the bar drinking Hot Damn & Sprite she talked I listened the more she drank the more pronounced her lonliness became and after a bit she turned to the man next to her and started a conversation with him it was ok with me I'd had a few drinks and was lost in thought as i studied the others sitting around the bar an older man in overalls was drinking straight whiskey he never spoke to anyone just kinda glanced around the bar with troubled eyes and shook his head to himself once in awhile it made me wonder what disappointments he had seen in his life to make his eyes look so old and forlorn an older lady was dancing alone dressed as a younger girl might be dressed in a short black skirt and nearly transparent blouse and I wondered if she often tried to hide from aging in this juvenile manner or perhaps she was just so lonely that she threw all common sense to the wind another lady probably about my age repeatedly sang broken hearted love songs on the kareokee and I could tell someone had done her wrong later she confirmed it by dedicating " Goodbye Earl " to the " bastard" who had left her ouch a man walked up to me asking point blank if I wanted to fall in love I replied I was already in love and he was out of luck he said he was in love too with his wife and strolled away the lady serving drinks always had a smile on her face I wondered if it hurt her to contort her face like that for nine hours at a time her smile never once reached her eyes you see and it was so obvious that her heart wasnt in it that bar was a hodge-podge of broken hearts shattered dreams lives unlived regreats depression loneliness desperation and defeat it seemed a hide-a-way that offered alcohol to numb the mind shelter the pain offer if only for a night the freedom to pretend that we all werent hurting and sad so I ordered another drink lit another smoke wished my friend a happy new year as she left with a stranger I sat back offering myself to whomever might at that moment be studying me from across the smokey bar |
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| © Copyright 2003 Leona Hill - All Rights Reserved | |||
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
The bar scene makes me tired just thinking about it! But I have to say you covered the room and captured the loneliness that fills it. Hot damn!!  |
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PoetryIsLife 
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Very nicely done. I'm quite impressed.  It's the type of poem I could see done smoothly as a song... a warning of what might become, a glimpse through other eyes, life from another angle. ~Titus "A life unexamined is not worth living." |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
God I'm glad I don't go to bars anymore! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Interesting...James |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
This is a thing that I've seen most of my life. It takes on a life of it's own, almost a Purgatory in it's desperation. A very good write. Ed |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
yes..as Wranx said.. it does take on alife of its own..and the regulars become aquainted with each others empty, measuring themselves against that..they may find a certain comfort that they are not the only one...that they are not completely alone.. enjoyed the telling.... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
You are a wonderful writer, enchantingvamp. You capture how people live and feel, with truth and a bit of wit. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
You wrote of the whole "bar scene" very well...... most folks (although probably not all) are there because of loneliness or just to party to forget whatever they want to forget........I'm so glad that I have no desire to go to bars anymore....but, I used to love to party, though, in my younger years......... "Love makes the world go around" |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
enchantingvamp - a truly great and amazing write about the bar, felt like I was right there. Oh by the way, do you dance???? That was I over in the corner, of the bar... BC |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
sing me a song, im the piano man........... good slice of life, an older woman, who still dresses in short skirts, (cause i can) and got her first tattoo at the age of 42 |
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enchantingvamp Member
since 2002-12-21
Posts 214Indiana, & NO there is NOT more than corn in Indiana, oughta go back to texas! |
Thank you everyone who read this and left a comment. * s * Bill, that was you? Wow, and to think I almost went over and tried to pick you up! |
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