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Rainbowdust
Member

since 2002-12-05

Posts 320
Sydney, Australia

0 posted 2003-01-08 07:32 AM

If you ever feel alone my love,
   I will hold you in my arms
   and merge our bodies into one
   until you know with every fibre of your being
   that we never were, and will never be
   apart.

**
I tried writing more verses, but they all sounded too cliche! Do you think it's enough on its own? Or should I do a repost when my muse is in a more original mood?

The soul would have no rainbows, had the eyes no tears.

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

1 posted 2003-01-08 08:05 AM

Shireen, i like it. I always enjoy your thoughts on love.

its a atatement all on its own.
lots of love gemma xxxxxx

learning each day, for you and i, our paths have met, i've already learnt that you are love.

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

2 posted 2003-01-08 08:18 AM

I feel alone...really, very alone...is the offer still open?......Nice write...sometimes alot can be said in a very few words gal....you did fine....
For example, if ya read some of my garbage...I write a whole bunch sometimes and say nothing...okay, most of the time.....

[This message has been edited by Toerag (01-08-2003 08:19 AM).]

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

3 posted 2003-01-08 08:23 AM

I like it exactly as written; you captured a perfect union of true love. Enjoyed.

Hugs and warm regards, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

4 posted 2003-01-08 08:25 AM

Rainbowdust
I got the message, LOL enjoyed.

secretlife
Member

since 2002-07-30

Posts 359
Grean Earth ,,,

5 posted 2003-01-08 10:39 AM

I feel alone too..

I really love your words and the thoughts about love...

What a great love...

Hugesssssss

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

6 posted 2003-01-08 11:01 AM

I like it exactly the way it is.
Sometimes (most of the time), I write a lot more than would actually be necessary to get the point across.......like now, for instance...

Seriously, a lot can be said in a few words, if they're said just right, and you said these just right!!

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

Rainbowdust
Member

since 2002-12-05

Posts 320
Sydney, Australia

7 posted 2003-01-08 09:40 PM

Thanks for reading Gemma; glad my soppy love poetry finally has a purpose!

Toe, sorry the offer's only open to my boyfriend.. but somehow I don't think you'll have much trouble finding someone else to help you realise this..

Pat, Seymour, secretlife and Ethel, thanks for reading and responding as always. Hope you all have a great day!

The soul would have no rainbows, had the eyes no tears.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

8 posted 2003-01-09 02:30 AM

No i wouldn't change a thing, sometimes it's best to just leave it, you'll see alot of my poems are short and simple, sometimes it's best not to dilute a great theme. This one is absolutely beautiful as is and for me encompasses everything that love should be

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

9 posted 2003-01-09 09:26 PM

enjoyed

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

10 posted 2003-01-09 09:34 PM

I think this is just fine as is...you write
tenderly and beautifully..

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

11 posted 2003-01-10 02:50 AM

that's why I dont' write about stuff like that...

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