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Open Poetry #23
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jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2002-12-13 10:56 AM


despite the fact that it required
a dual effort to get to the
height that they had maintained
he not only stopped holding on
he pushed her away
as well

looking up at the rope
well within reach
and him across from her
she acknowledged that she
had not the strength
to pull him up kicking
and screaming
and not the desire
nor the mental energy
required to re-convince
him to undertake
the climb

so she settled
back and drop by drop
wept depth into
the puddle


[This message has been edited by jellybeans (12-13-2002 11:06 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
1 posted 2002-12-13 11:12 AM


JJ, this is wonderful. I love the way you write.  

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2002-12-13 11:13 AM


Outstanding! I love your unique presentation of a climbing/falling metaphor.
Tasty jellybeans.

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
3 posted 2002-12-13 11:23 AM




JB,

This is heart touching. Sad, but so well woven, at first you don't notice how painful, til the ending, ~wow~!

Enjoyed your talent.

Hugs and warm regards, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

4 posted 2002-12-13 11:40 AM


now..this is painfully subtle... and yet overtly evident.. you always fascinate me with your words.


inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
5 posted 2002-12-13 11:40 AM


i feel the frustration of this poem,
something right in reach, and you just want
to shake the person into sanity

Salty
Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669
Texas
6 posted 2002-12-13 11:48 AM


I was involved with a person that drained every ounce from me.

You did one fantastic job of relaying this.

A wonderfully written piece of poety.

~Salty

In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
--Deepak Chop

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
7 posted 2002-12-13 11:52 AM


I haven't given you a ditto in a while... and I know you love them. *G* So I'm sliding in with a "ditto" on Cpat's response. *S*

This is excellent, lady. *S*

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

8 posted 2002-12-13 06:18 PM


gg, thank you J have enjoyed your work as well

midnitesun, thank you, it is not such a nice view from the bottom looking up

Pat thank you for your very caring comments

cpat, that is a compliment indeed…specially for one that just spilled onto paper…sigh

goddess, yep, you read it perfect *smile*

Salty, thank you, yes, every ounce…

suthern lol@you and your ditto’s…love you lady

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