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Open Poetry #23
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Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2002-12-13 10:55 AM



I stumble on you
Losing balanced thought
To fall face first into
Muddy memories
That do not break my fall gently,
But fill my nose and eyes
With grit worn from stony faces.

There were
Or were thereā€¦

Days and nights I soared
Lithely stepping from one heaven
To dissolve in mists of you in another
Knowing what two felt like as one
And in arrogance of delight
Thought no end could be

Now I breathe
And try to remember the tactile impressions,
The scents of love then,
But my face is covered
In this eroded time
And the sands of
My stumble

© Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

1 posted 2002-12-13 10:58 AM


wow......when you remember, when you write, the world stands at attention, you are a gifted writer my friend
Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2002-12-13 11:24 AM


You keep doing this, and I'm going to need more bytes.

Salty
Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669
Texas
3 posted 2002-12-13 11:39 AM


I stumble on you
Losing balanced thought
To fall face first into
Muddy memories


But my face is covered
In this eroded time
And the sands of
My stumble
-------

You have captured and protrayed this well

Very impressed here

~Salty

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
4 posted 2002-12-13 11:44 AM


Ron,


I like this a great deal. Many, many lines....

"I stumble on you,
~losing balanced thought~", oh, yes.

and.....

"with grit worn from stony faces"

and my favorite, which I relate to most:

"arrogance of delight" (good one)    

I've been in that frame of mind more than once, ooh, letting that invisible guard down....

Sad write, but right. Enjoyed.

Warm regards, Pat


    

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2002-12-13 11:44 AM



I do believe
this is the first time
I have seen you soar...

then you pulled the rug
away.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2002-12-13 12:05 PM


JB.. you are far too kind. thank you

Midnight... that is what the trash bin is for
(chuckling) to have a place to get rid of stuff like this...it doesn't use much space and can be emptied regularly.. thanks for dropping in and for commenting.

Salty.. I take it you have been there..
thanks for the nice words..they are appreciated

Pat.. you are a treasure... always saying nice things.. thanks

Sunshine.. ( smiling) it's just life you know... that's the way it seems to work.

thanks to you all...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2002-12-13 07:35 PM


Days and nights I soared
Lithely stepping from one heaven
To dissolve in mists of you in another
Knowing what two felt like as one
And in arrogance of delight
Thought no end could be


Now I breathe
And try to remember the tactile impressions,
The scents of love then,
=================================


feelings like this...do leave one hell of an impression...leaves memories too...or are those called scars? .... yeah... I know.

(also makes for some impressive poetry)  

It's so nice
to wake up in the morning
all alone
and not have to tell somebody
you love them
when you don't love them
any more

R.Brautigan

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (12-13-2002 07:35 PM).]

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
8 posted 2002-12-13 08:45 PM




(big hugggsssssss) This is such a touching write, sweet friend, I hope all is well as I think we can all feel misunderstood and lost! (sigh) This is excellent, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
9 posted 2002-12-14 12:13 PM


Nevertheless, within the gravel of Wisdom's path lie smooth worry-stone memories worth pocketing...

-MVS

"AS ABOVE SO BELOW"

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
10 posted 2002-12-14 02:23 AM


Ron!
You've been busy.
And I see a new Cpat emerging, methinks.

Ed

I'll be back for the rest.

That finger thing, yanno?

Sandpiper
Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
11 posted 2002-12-14 06:57 AM


But my face is covered
In this eroded time
And the sands of
My stumble

..hard to breathe when buried in the sand--like the honest of this--well done!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
12 posted 2002-12-14 11:26 AM


Man, you make my heart bleed. That's good writing, friend. Balance is indeed difficult to do, especially for poets, I fear.

Cor

[This message has been edited by Corinne (12-14-2002 11:39 AM).]

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
13 posted 2002-12-14 11:32 AM


Capt. Ron, you know just how to write it, don't you? Thanks for sharing, friend....    

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
14 posted 2002-12-14 11:36 AM



I echo the above replies--and that is saying a great deal! You really are one of the very best, yanno!

~ humble hugs

EA

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
15 posted 2002-12-14 11:49 AM


Excellently penned, sharp vision, though your pain is from the muddied views.

Sad but highly perceptive and powerfully done!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
16 posted 2002-12-14 11:57 AM


You don't know how good this one is. So I came back again, to give you a booster shot.
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
17 posted 2002-12-14 12:26 PM


And in arrogance of delight
Thought no end could be

A mistake we've all made too many times
Brilliant piece


raph

A Tone of Voice
Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287

18 posted 2002-12-14 12:42 PM


But my face is covered
In this eroded time
And the sands of
My stumble
Oh I like this part, all of it of course, but especially this line.....

very good,

*S*

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

19 posted 2002-12-19 12:56 PM


Muddy, stony words.

Loved them.

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