The Portrait in the Hallway

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LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

0 posted 2002-10-15 03:37 PM

The portrait hangs upon the wall, a solitary testament
Of the love he's hoarded close, with miserly intent.
He aches to hold her in his arms, but his insecurities,
Keep the hallway dark and silent, where nobody else can see.

When his friends come to visit, he keeps the hallway closed,
Fearing they will desire the beauty that's silently reposed
There in the hall where only he can appreciate its worth,
The jealous man, the lovely portrait, the unintended hurt.

He's made a habit to criticize and focus on every fault,
Neglecting all the beauty there, secreted within his vault.
Every suspicion deftly cut, each deep and there concealed
Within the darkened hallway where his prize is unrevealed.

Time's gone by, the portrait's aged, the colors are now subdued,
In his dark hall without the light that too rarely is renewed.
Yet with the passing of the years, it's beauty has never died,
Though it's slowly dimmed without the love it's owner has denied.

The owner holds his secret close, fearful of what he'd lose,
If someone else were to see and desire the portrait held in recluse.
The hallway stands silent, darkened, holding its treasure there,
The portrait of the beautiful woman, guarded with jealous care.

A cautioning tale for all you men who keep a portrait thus,
The hallway of your heart will dim when it isn't lit with trust,
Until her love finally fades from the jealousy you impart,
And all the beauty that was her is a darkened portrait in your heart.

[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (10-15-2002 04:16 PM).]

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

1 posted 2002-10-15 03:39 PM

Beautiful poem

Cold hands means a warm heart

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

2 posted 2002-10-15 03:45 PM

Michael, this is so beautiful. It has me speechless, which is very unusual. Thanks for sharing your work.

With Love To All,
Ethel....garysgirl

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

3 posted 2002-10-15 03:53 PM

Well Mike, just when I begin to think you are as incorrigible as old Toe, you softly place one of these on the page.

And you think women are complex. Between you and him its a wonder we women ever think we have men figured out at all.

This is lovely, wonderful and filled with heart. Great job! For a moment anyway, I will cease to think of you as a scalawag.

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

4 posted 2002-10-15 04:11 PM

Thank you for those kind words. Incidently, the poem could have been written for women, too (except for Balladeer and Toerag, they CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT EVER BE TRUSTED WITH YOUR PERSONAL SECRETS). The lesson is there for all.

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

5 posted 2002-10-15 06:13 PM

Brings tears to my eyes, beautiful poetry. Really quite special.

I love this!

Warm Regards,
Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

6 posted 2002-10-16 08:48 AM

The hallway of your heart will dim when it isn't lit with trust,

How very true... and what a wisdom filled beauty you've written. *S*

Of course... if that portrait were of me... he could be just trying to spare his friends the awful sight he has to live with? LOL

It's SO good to have you back, scalawag... whether you're writing like this or giving Bal his well-deserved spankings. *G*

Now when you're being mean and abusive to my sweet, innocent, very epitome of decorum Toe??? Grrrrrr. LOL

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

7 posted 2002-10-16 08:54 AM

Ah Michael...I do like this softer side of you..
Well done!
~Hugs~

~ Time has cast a spell on you
So you won't ever forget me ~

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

8 posted 2002-10-16 09:02 AM

You're not just a pretty face---you have depth!

These are wise words that more men should heed! (I suppose this could apply to women as well)

Sometimes we lose the one we "love" by holding on to them too tightly.

This is a beautiful piece of writing!

EA

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

9 posted 2002-10-16 09:26 AM

"The sad thing is," said the miserly man
"if I can love her, than anyone can,"
but he forgot the most important clue,
was that she once said, "I shall only love you."

So he guarded her with jealousy and lust,
forgetting the value of things like trust,
and his mentality drew so tight the threads
that she ran to escape the marriage bed...

~*~

Shoot...now you've gotten me away from free verse, and into rhyme...

Well done, you Scalawag...it's about time you got yourself back to where you belong...we have a whole bunch of new people that haven't seen either side of you, so get cracking, y'hear?

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

10 posted 2002-10-16 10:25 AM

Applauds....Long John, how true your words and never spoken more beautifully

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

11 posted 2002-10-16 11:26 AM

Ah yes...nice write......sometimes I think you didn't "Just get off the ship"....then, I see your little remark in the replies....whatta nice guy...

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

12 posted 2002-10-16 08:35 PM

he can't help it, can he, Toe? He writes a great piece and just when I'm ready to say "wonderful poem, Long John" I look in the remarks and see myself a victim of a potshot again. Well, it ain't gonna work this time 'cause I'm gonna say it anyway..

WONDEFUL POEM, LONG JOHN!!

so there!

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

13 posted 2002-10-17 10:04 AM

Thanks everybody for your support. Especially 'Deer and Toe - you two are truly class guys, whose comments always are taken as you intended, with a laugh and a feeling of real friendship.

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

14 posted 2002-10-17 10:05 AM

Karilea - I wish I had written that in my poem. It sums it all up perfectly.

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

15 posted 2002-10-17 11:39 AM

"Yet with the passing of the years, it's beauty has never died,
Though it's slowly dimmed without the love it's owner has denied."

Ah, LngJhn ... this is splendid! Woven rhythmically, with care and much wisdom. I loved your thoughts in this, and how gently you thread the message throughout. Excellent writing!

Best wishes,
/Kit

RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

16 posted 2002-10-17 11:43 AM

I'm certain many of us heard the echo in that forlorn hallway and stood hands on pocket still fighting the urge to strike a light. Enjoyed

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

17 posted 2002-10-17 12:11 PM

I feel blessed to know I've never been such a portrait in anyone's hallway, and better for the fact that I've never held anyone in mine. Loving this. Its always great to see the wisdom in your work.

"two hearts will build the foundation for one point of light
a duet done with passion"

excerpt from "I Love You"

Moonlight Romeo

Senior Member

since 2001-09-10

Posts 982
The heart of you

18 posted 2002-10-17 12:13 PM

This reminds me a little of Browning, in its wisdom.

Thank you.

What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

19 posted 2002-10-17 12:19 PM

excellent until the final stanza which should be thrown out.

let the reader figure it out, its not your responsibility as a writer to explain. also it takes away a lot of the satisfaction of thinking about a poem.

aside from that its great!

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

20 posted 2002-10-17 01:38 PM

wonderful poem.....sigh, sigh, triple sigh, now when are you available to read it to my husband?

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

21 posted 2002-10-31 04:10 PM

Thank you eb\verybody for those wonderful replies.

Majnu - It's a weakness of mine. I almost always write a final moral in my deeper poems. Why do you think I wrote the rest of the stanzas? lol - Thanks for the suggeston, though. I suspect you'd just hate a poem I wrote titled, "Wisdom of the Aces." Same thing there - a moral derived from a story.

Tammy Blessing
Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 366
PA

22 posted 2002-11-01 10:24 AM

Wow! I must say I'm impressed! And I personally, LOVE the moral in the last Stanza! You really shocked me with this LongJohn! I'm one of those "newbies" Sunshine was talking about, that have never seen this side of you. Up until now I just figured you were one of the "gang". (You know ..The Toe and Balladeer gang..The literary challenged ones..?)

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

23 posted 2002-11-01 10:55 AM

Beans - It is so good to see you posting again - I love it, too. Thank you for your wonderful words. Hey everybody else, in case you don't know, j/b is a terrific person whose friendship is priceless. My only regret is the message in your post, Lovey. I'm truly sorry.

Tammy - Thank you for being discriminate in your assessment of my character. I now know that I can be apart from that gang of rascally scalawags and be recognized for my intellectual traits. striking an indignant Miss Piggy pose as I flounce out of this post BTW - Balladeer writes some of the finest stories and morality poems I've ever read anywhere. He is still the best at that. Use the smart search feature with the archives to find his Stature in Central Park.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

24 posted 2002-11-01 10:56 AM

LJ, this is a wonderful write although a different side of you, but ya know what.
I LIKE IT. Very deep and insightful writing filled with wisdom. Very well done and a keeper in my library.

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