Like Falling In Love With A Brick Wall

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Smoothy
Member

since 2002-12-02

Posts 119
The dark side of the moon

0 posted 2002-12-04 03:39 AM

She's coming back tomorrow,
My greatest love and sorrow,
Why can't I tell her how I feel?
Why does this seem so unreal?

She stops my heart but I can't say,
To her that I feel this way,
Is it because I'm not buff like him?
Why do I cater to her every whim?

I might be being taken advantage of,
But I don't really care,
I've got no real chance of love,
But I don't really care,

It's not like my heart can break anymore,
I've been broken to my very core,
I've fallen in love with her,
Will she love me? Probably never.

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

1 posted 2002-12-04 05:35 AM

I can totally relate to this poem and that is cool.Anyway awsome piece and keep up the great work.
Lauren

Tamma

Senior Member

since 2000-01-17

Posts 794
In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV

2 posted 2002-12-04 09:10 AM

I've felt this way a number of tymes in my life before...Love's confusing, annoying, and amazing all at the same tyme. But - if she doesn't return the love, move on to a worthier girl

Have you ever heard that "No shirt, No shoes" rule? My question is...Why doesn't that rule include pants?

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

3 posted 2002-12-04 12:01 PM

Tamma - I must thank you.

I've been telling him that for the longest time. It's about time he hears it from someone else! lol Oh well, I know how it goes, been there before, and it's not fun...

Bryan - Dude, you put me to SHAME here. You write with an elequince (hope I spelled that right) not often seen in many. Keep on writin' man! It's the best release I know of... Later!

"You can't hurt meee!! 'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!"

Stinky Twinkie
Member

since 2002-11-26

Posts 204
Dinwiddie

4 posted 2002-12-04 05:19 PM

That was an awesome title. I love brick walls. It's fun to run into them.

-Stinky Twinkie-

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

5 posted 2002-12-04 05:29 PM

"My greatest love and sorrow." That was a truly amazing and heartfelt piece. That girl just needs to get with it!

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change? -Dishwalla-

Smoothy
Member

since 2002-12-02

Posts 119
The dark side of the moon

6 posted 2002-12-04 07:38 PM

Thanks everyone. I aim to please.
Rich-It seems more and more people are rallying to agree with you. I guess I should start to shape up.
Lauren-Being able to relate to a piece has always been one of my favorite ways to truly understand a piece.Thank you.
StinkyTwinky-Maybe you get your inspiration from slight head trauma...
WinterWren-You've always been one of my best supporters.Thank you.

Smoothy
Member

since 2002-12-02

Posts 119
The dark side of the moon

7 posted 2002-12-04 07:43 PM

I decided to post one single reply to Tamma. Yes, being in love is hard. I only wish it were that easy; to just let go. I've tried so hard to do something, but I'm afraid that I'd lose her altogether and I'm not sure if I can do that. Thanks for the support.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

8 posted 2002-12-15 03:15 AM

Smoothy~
I very much enjoyed this, from the catchy title,
all the way to the end.
You did a great job of conveying your feelings
in this piece. Very nicely done.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

9 posted 2002-12-16 12:27 PM

Oh, dude, this is definately going into my library. Hope things start to look brighter
Rj

"it was cute, it was like he was shy and didn't want to make it too obvious"
~ Reena
I'm Rhondiforous!

LTEvans
Member

since 2002-12-06

Posts 72
Lenham, England

10 posted 2002-12-16 04:43 AM

Pause for effect...

"WOMEN! HA!"

I think that sums it up.
This is one poem I think everyone can relate to and thats what made all the great poets, well, great.

rOxXbabY391
Member

since 2002-12-14

Posts 71

11 posted 2002-12-16 09:35 PM

veryy good poem!
"It's not like my heart can break anymore,
I've been broken to my very core"
aweeeesum
~*~eMiLy~*~

"I don't think I can make it through one more night. 'Cause how do you answer "What's wrong?" ~ when nothing is right.

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