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Teen Poetry #6
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stephanie
Junior Member
since 2002-11-15
Posts 33


0 posted 2002-11-26 03:09 PM


What is like
not to have a mother?
I'll tell you how it feels
from one to another...

It hurts like hell,
there's nothing but pain.
The thoughts in your head
make you feel like you're insane.

Why? Why?
Thats all you can say,
but it all becomes clearer
day by day.

Your mother left-
She abandoned you.
Your thoughts now;
What did I do?

The answer is nothing,
but that you can't see,
because all you can think
is it was all me.

You grew up with your dad;
Basically alone-
Five years later...
Guess who's on the phone?

Yeah, that's right!
The (edited by moderator) who left!
All of a sudden
your ears go deaf.

You don't want to talk,
and you don't want to listen,
about how much
her baby girl she's been missin.

Missing me how?
When she never knew me in the first place.
Never again
do i want to see her face.

Now my thoughts; how?
How can you leave your child?
Just all of a sudden
so you can go wild!

It's so wrong,
and it hurts so bad.
Am I still angry?
yeah, and also very sad.

If there were any way
I could bring you back,
I would have to say
a definate no to that!

Why come back
when you've never been there?
Just so you can act
and pretend that you care!?

That's alright,
this life is just fine,
and I bet you'd kill
for a life like mine!

[This message has been edited by vlraynes (11-27-2002 02:03 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 stephanie - All Rights Reserved
palmerj
Junior Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 30
Coxsackie, NY
1 posted 2002-11-26 03:18 PM


I like this poem a lot but it seems too long maybe.  I wont go into it because you said you dont want critques.  But I know a friend of mine you who could really relate to this and with your permission I would really like to send this to her giving you full credit of course.  Please let me know  thanks

palmerj2002@hotmail.com

[This message has been edited by palmerj (11-26-2002 03:19 PM).]

NSnaomian
Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232
In my troll closet I be
2 posted 2002-11-26 03:43 PM


I guess I know what you mean, I do have a mother so, on the other hand, I guess not.
I thought you went about this very well and I don't mind the length at all. I thought the length just helped you go into more feeling.
Good job with this.
Oh and welcome to passions,
hope ya like it here.

Laura

"I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful."
-Bob Hope-

Stinky Twinkie
Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 204
Dinwiddie
3 posted 2002-11-26 04:03 PM


Is that for real?  If it is, it sucks (the situation, not the poem).  I thought it was a pretty good poem.  Seeing as to how this is quite serious sounding, I wont critique it either. William just turned into a rabbit again.....
Stinky Twinkie
Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 204
Dinwiddie
4 posted 2002-11-26 04:16 PM


I know how you feel....kinda.  I dont have a father anymore (he died a few years back *insert sad face here*). It sucks

lildevil
Junior Member
since 2002-11-21
Posts 47
missouri,usa
5 posted 2002-11-26 06:41 PM


my friend can so connect with what you wrote but it is just as bad with out a father

roxywrestlegirl04
Member
since 2002-10-29
Posts 74
good ole DINWIDDIE
6 posted 2002-12-19 10:12 AM


wow....that was really good...ive never read anything like that before...i wanted to cry when i read that...i liked it ALOT...cant say in know how you feel...i can only imagine what that must feel like...but..no matter what...KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!!
           love ya lotz gurl!!
              LIZ

live,love,and die...but take RISKS..thatz what makes life worth the living, love worth the heartache,and death the new beginning!

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