Sonnet 01- Dedicated to depression among teens.

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Darkness
Member

since 2002-10-17

Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

0 posted 2002-11-12 01:31 PM

I know what you’re all about,
I've been down that road,
I've spilt the blood from the waterspout,
And I've felt my skin grow cold.
I've sat alone and cried at night,
Numb and hearing nothing at all,
Lying through my teeth saying: "I'm all right."
Just hoping that I won’t fall.
Believe me it's not a solution,
The problems are here because you let them be,
You submerge in your stay of execution,
Just open your eyes and you will see.
To be yourself and don't forget,
And live your life as you see fit.

If anybody is having troubles. E-Mail me at ThePoet4EW@netscape.net or if you have AOL or AOL Instant Messenger you can IM me,my screen name is the same as my e-mail. I am willing to listen and give advice.(If you want) If you want some advice I will be willing to help, being that I've been there before.
Please don't be shy I don't judge people.

Darkness

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

1 posted 2002-11-12 06:59 PM

"The problems are here because you let them be,
You submerge in your stay of execution,
Just open your eyes and you will see.
To be yourself and don't forget,
And live your life as you see fit."

I'm afraid that I have to disagree with this part, because I suffer from clinical depression, and the problems aren't here because I let them... it's a chemical imbalance, and I can do nothing about it except live my life (right now) taking medication every day.
Unfortunately, someone with clinical depression can't just open their eyes

I do like the poem though, it's a good write

I am a Knight who says Ni!

BrokenAngel
Member

since 2002-01-06

Posts 141
Puryear, TN, USA

2 posted 2002-11-12 07:04 PM

I can't believe how true this is. I do agree with you that problems only get you down if you allow them to. Thats the only thing that keeps me up is I don't allow it to. Great write!! All to true and great advice.

~*~*~Night Angel

Darkness
Member

since 2002-10-17

Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

3 posted 2002-11-12 07:14 PM

Thanks for the info Skyfire! I wasnt really talking about clinical depression though. I know all about chemical imbalences and all that. I was talking about when life just becomes too much for you to handle you know.

Thanks for the comment BrokenAngel just some reflecting I had to do.

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

4 posted 2002-11-12 09:11 PM

Ah I get you

Then I do agree with you hehe

I am a Knight who says Ni!

clve527
Member

since 2002-07-08

Posts 200

5 posted 2002-11-12 09:27 PM

Umm is this actually a sonnet? I commend your reasoning for writing it but sonnnets have strict syllable counts and so forth.

Casey

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

6 posted 2002-11-12 09:35 PM

hi, not to be overly critical, but you do have your critique flag up.

having battled a chronic major depression for the past five years [among many other problems], i am right up there with skyfire.

i'm very very well versed on this topic.  it's not about opening your eyes and 'walking up'.  there are two types of depression, situational and chemical.

it doesn't matter which one you have, it's more complex than that.  especially if you depend on ssri's or maoi's just to function each day.  i've been on so many i can't count.

i applaud you for trying to tackle such a huge topic, but i think you should have put a little more thought into it.

as well, this isn't a sonnet.  ex.  a shakespearean sonnet is made up of iambic pentameter.  fourteen lines, with an abab rhyming pattern.  each line consists of ten syllables, or five iambic feet.  a foot consists of two syllables, one weak, the other strong.

there are many resources out on the net to help you with different types of structure and meter.  try looking them up on a search engine.

nonetheless it was a rather powerful piece and kudos for the effort.

good write.

/jen/

what if they gave a war, and nobody came...

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

7 posted 2002-11-12 09:40 PM

oh, one last thing...

once again, no harsh feelings intended at all. but if anyone feels that they might be suffering from something a little more severe than just a simple case of the blues, i strongly suggest you speak to a professional about this. go to your family doctor [or gp whatever you want to call it], and they can make an assessment. don't worry about confidentiality. by law, they can only tell your parents if you're an immediate danger to yourself or others.

this can lead to something very serious if untreated, and really shouldn't be meddled with by those who are unqualified. it is a very dangerous thing to mess with.

/jen/

what if they gave a war, and nobody came...

[This message has been edited by quietlydying (11-12-2002 09:40 PM).]

palmerj
Junior Member

since 2002-11-06

Posts 30
Coxsackie, NY

8 posted 2002-11-13 12:31 PM

Wow this poem hit me deep. Everyone has been down at one time or another. Im sure Ill hvae something to discuss with you over AIM.

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

9 posted 2002-11-13 04:19 AM

*nods feverently at Jenn's last reply* It's not... weak... to need any sort of help for anything. Not weak at all

I am a Knight who says Ni!

Morgana Le Fay
Junior Member

since 2002-10-25

Posts 22

10 posted 2002-11-13 02:46 PM

As was mentioned before, there's a difference between being depressed and having depression. I could write you books on this subject so I'm just going to shut up now.

This topic is so diverse and complex that it's overwhelming to grasp and I give you credit for attempting to do so.

by the woods, you hear it creeping, and you know, they're the blood in you

Darkness
Member

since 2002-10-17

Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

11 posted 2002-11-13 04:45 PM

Thanks everybody. I was just writing about my past. I know that in most cases you can't just open your eyes. But really thats all it took for me to get out. I have realized that there are mixed feelings with this topic. Half agree and Half don't. In all my english classes we have covered sonnets up and down and I don't remember any syllable counts. Thanks for the info though. I'm going to check that out with my english teacher.

Thanks for all the kind words and critiques this was my first attempt at a sonnet.

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

12 posted 2002-11-13 11:30 PM

here here 'morgana'.

maybe we could co-author!!

one cannot go wandering blind for five years...

not when you're as smart as i am.

::gets up and dusts her shirt off::

sorry.

/jen/

what if they gave a war, and nobody came...

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