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Teen Poetry #6
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The Letter-Dagger
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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The Letter-Dagger |
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PeaceInEverything Junior Member
since 2002-10-06
Posts 31Ohio, United States |
This poem feels odd. I don't know why. It just feels not finished or somehow uncomplete. It might be that it is just a bad poem and the odd feeling is myself trying to stop this post. I don't know, it is odd. Anyone get this feeling ever? The Letter-Dagger ----------------- Like a knife plunged into the depths of my heart. Your written words of pain rip into my heart's center. The wound seeping toxins into my being removing all emotion. Emotionless, Cold, and Unfeeling inside, I present the world a false image. How long until the pain is ended? Should I be a heart donor before I am dead? |
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| © Copyright 2002 Chris Adams - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Darkness Member
since 2002-10-17
Posts 202The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies. |
I liked this. It was very well written. I liked the choice of words and the style in which you wrote. Have you ever heard the phrase that poems are never finished? Thats why they are so great they are always open for change. Good Write. Darkness |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I agree that this sounds a bit incomplete. It is probably not that you lack something at the end, but rather that you chose to introduce the concluding stanza so early. Perhaps you should add a few more body stanzas to the poem in order to draw it out a little more, make the conclusion seem a little more conclusive. Also, try to avoid raising new questions in the concluding stanza, unless you can show how it relates to the rest of a poem as a whole. Just some pointers.  Parasite Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. |
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