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Teen Poetry #6
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rimmie
Junior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 45
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

0 posted 2002-11-09 10:26 PM


I hardly ever dream anymore
As my head hits the pillow and I slip into 'dreams'
I am transformed to a dark place
One that I hate with a passion that excedes all else
All of the sudden I am a nobody
I am stripped of all I have
And am merelly a spirit looking for comfort
It is perfectly dark, nothing can be seen nor heard
I do not know what is around me and all I can relly on is what I sence
You know that feeling...like someone is watching?
And you can feel their gaze burning into the back of your head
Well multiply that by 100
As if thousands oh hating eyes are watching you
Seeing only the bad and dissecting your soul
All I can do is stand there...turning in infanite circles trying to get my eyes to adjust
I slowly begin to panic
Thoughts fill my head...
After what seems like hours the eyes become clear
I can see them looking at me...judging
I try to run but, am simply dragged in further into the darkness

I am suddently thrown back to reallity by the sound of the allarm clock
Shock fills my body
Im not sure if I should be glad it's over
Or fear because, I know it will return the next night

© Copyright 2002 Ruz - All Rights Reserved
dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258

1 posted 2002-11-10 12:01 PM


hey,
i liked this
especially the last line
"or fear because, i know it will return the next night"
i thought that was really kool
keep writin and i cant wait to read more
~sam~

Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
2 posted 2002-11-10 12:32 PM


"As if thousands oh hating eyes are watching you
Seeing only the bad and dissecting your soul
All I can do is stand there...turning in infanite circles trying to get my eyes to adjust"

*sigh* you don't know how much this sounds like me. *hugs*
Welcome to Passions!!! Check your email for a special greeting hun


I'm so cute!

[This message has been edited by Skyfire (11-10-2002 12:35 AM).]

Pollita
Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220
the unknown realm of insanity
3 posted 2002-11-10 12:54 PM


Rimma I LOVED this!!!!!!!!!!!
It's Awesome!
Really it is!!!!!!!
No No NO---
It's SUPER!
Right?
L
O
V
E

Is what the poem deserves!
My poems deserve a big "Atleast you tried" metal!
lol
ttyl!

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
4 posted 2002-11-10 01:45 AM


Sounds pretty freaky.  You okay, Rimma?

Good to see you're in PIP now... heh... hope you post a lot more, thanks for your reply to my poem.  

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

Android 17
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664
Winnipeg
5 posted 2002-11-10 02:10 AM


Heya! Nice to see you around---now...THIS IS MY HOUSE AND YOU well, babe---you can stay in my room!

Anyways, I find that this poem...it being about dreams, shows me that you're generally insecure---and that you hate being judged. *nods* And from my POV...you needn't be worried with any of this!

I loved your style though, it's rather different...it's nice to get some new meat around here; just wait untill we turn you into burgers!

But for your first few poems...it's actually quite good! It takes a bit of ka-hoonies to be able to post your work and have it picked it! And I commend you! Nice job!

~ 17

Tyhla du dra piyd uv so seht!

rimmie
Junior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 45
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
6 posted 2002-11-10 07:23 AM


Well first of all thanx to everyone who relied for your intput.

DINKY: Thanks for the encouragment... and I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

SKYFIRE: Mmmmm thanks! and yes you are preciously adorable!!!

POLITTA:Thank You Delany!!! (I think I spelled your name wrong) I'm glad you liked...Thanx for getting me to sighn up. And honestly I LOVE your poems and think they are really good.

LOCAL PARASITE: I'm peachy   ! I'm hopping I will and you are welcome I loved your poem!

ANDROID 17: Thanks for that very ... special ...welcome!!! Hmmmmm....well thanks for the isight and well "of course honey"! lolI I'm really glad you like it and... NEVER  reg. meat forever!!!

Oh yea how did you guys get the smiley thingies???

~RuZ~

[This message has been edited by rimmie (11-10-2002 07:50 AM).]

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
7 posted 2002-11-11 04:09 PM



Rimma~
Welcome to Passions.  It's great to see you here.
This is a very powerful introductory post.
You've expressed these feelings very well.
I look forward to seeing lots more from you.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

rimmie
Junior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 45
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
8 posted 2002-11-11 08:42 PM


Thanx!

~RuZ~

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