Water-streaked Stains of Truth

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Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2002-11-06 10:38 AM

I thought I saw the truth

in the raindrops falling

rapidly from my face

but I realized it was you

who was afraid of leaking,

not me.

She says the night encompasses

the dimness in the raindrops

and so they shine as they fall

but she does not know

the dark truth they whisper to me

when I am alone.

The demon god can fly, they said

and he took me for a ride

one day when the moon was

full and bright, shining

on my water-streaked face

and the truth was in

the raindrops.

She said she cannot comprehend

the complex concept he presents

she cannot completely fill

her own heart with compassion

and love him-

so she lies and says

the truth is in the raindrops.

The demon god can fly, they said

and he has come for our virgins,

and the weeping willow tree

spoke softly in a dream and said

she'd seen it all, yes, she knew it all before

I could understand it disappeared

and left me here

with a leaking cloud above my head.

And you once proclaimed

that you watched me dance with you

in the rain the day you walked me home

dripping down the street and you held my hand,

the day I discovered

that the truth is in the Raindrops.

"Wie ein Quadrat in einem Kreis, eck' ich immer wieder an obwohl ich doch schon lange weiß, daß ich niemals ändern kann." ~Wizo

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-11-06 12:39 PM

I haven't been so absorbed in something I was reading since... well... since I was little and read Bruce Coville books...

Seriously, this took me for a ride. I now know the definition of being jello-brained.

Terrific work. I'm very, very impressed with this. My library entry for the day, definitely.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

NSnaomian
Member

since 2002-07-22

Posts 232
In my troll closet I be

2 posted 2002-11-06 04:10 PM

This really sucked me in. Woh, what a job you did here! Nice work. Into the library you go.

Laura

Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

3 posted 2002-11-06 04:16 PM

My god!!! That was sooo awesome! I loved it. One of the best I`ve ever read! I am speechless.LOL
*Allison*

foreverwithyou
Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 204
Wonderland

4 posted 2002-11-06 07:03 PM

this poem was awesome no doubt its going in my little library too!!!

"I am who I am who I am who am I?"

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

5 posted 2002-11-07 04:07 AM

I am very impressed with this one

Well done

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

6 posted 2002-11-11 01:44 PM

Allysa~
This is excellent writing!
Your talent is really shining through in this piece,
and I am truly impressed.
I very much enjoyed reading this.
Wonderfully done!
Hugs,
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Jester
Junior Member

since 2002-08-13

Posts 41
The dark corners of your mind

7 posted 2002-11-11 02:31 PM

This poem really touched me very deeply. I was completely engulfed in it. Especially these lines:

She says the night encompasses
the dimness in the raindrops
and so they shine as they fall
but she does not know
the dark truth they whisper to me
when I am alone.

The whole concept of rain is nice...but even more so when rain is depicted doing something un-natural...like whispering the truth. Thanx for the read.

Jester

I am your God, will you kill me now or shall I be continually suicidal?

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

8 posted 2002-11-12 10:50 AM

Brian, how come you have a star under your name?????? I want a star..... (Ack! I have star envy...)

Yeah, ok, I have had to glazed doughnuts and a 20oz Barq's rootbeer in the past fifteen minutes, and I think it's all gone to my head.... dude.

Thank you all for replying... I'm considering submitting this to my school's literary magazine (as soon as I figure out where my receipt for my class ring happened to disappear to!) and also compiling a collection of poems that I have written about rain, and most likely putting them on my website. However, due to legal matters and the now annoying moderation of my homepage and other sites, I am changing my website as soon as I stop being lazy.

AHhhhhhhh.... must study.

Bye

"Wie ein Quadrat in einem Kreis, eck' ich immer wieder an obwohl ich doch schon lange weiß, daß ich niemals ändern kann." ~Wizo

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