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Teen Poetry #6
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EJ
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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EJ |
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EleanorMoonbaby Member
since 2002-09-02
Posts 202England, UK 
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What's the matter, EJ? Is it the same as usual? Sat there with a glassy-eyed stare. Dark curtains of hair frame a deathly pale face. On the rare occasions when the hair is tied back Everyone can see your features. A thin mouth clamped tight shut Like you're afraid you'll scream Cry Smile Throw up Do anything that proves you to be like us. Blanking the world again. Pretending nothing exists. You must be more than That sad little ghost you make yourself out to be. You know the other day When Al O'Donovan was messing around Putting his arms around you? You looked sick. Like you'd rather be anywhere than near him. Feeling repulsed by his touch. You can stare and act robotic all you want. But we all know your secret. You're only human, like the rest of us. High above the mucky-muck, castle made of clouds; there sits Wonderboy, sitting oh so proudly.... |
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| © Copyright 2002 Eleanor Warren - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
This really freaked the hell out of me. Not in a bad way, I honestly did like it but my nickname used to be EJ and you pretty much described me down to the Al Donovan part.  Don't do that again.  You've really brought this person alive with your descriptions. I would love to meet this girl - she sounds fascinating.  Ok, enough of my ego. I commend your efforts in this piece. It was written well with some beautiful touches like,quote: and quote: Only human...there's the ultimate insult. Gathering from this girl it's definitely not something that she wants to be. Don't be too hard on her. Thanks for sharing. ~AF~ Anti Lemming Crusader - Fight against the conformity! |
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EleanorMoonbaby Member
since 2002-09-02
Posts 202England, UK |
Well, actually the girl in the poem is a hybrid of me and a friend of mine. It's partly a "conversation" between me and some annoying pretentious person in my school who actually speaks like the narrator of the poem, right down to the "Glassy-eyed stare". Anyhoo, she was whining on at me for acting like a space cadet and I figured I'd turn her little rant into a poem! I also took some inspiration from a friend who makes slightly more intersting subject matter than me! And EJ is also my nickname..... for Eleanor Jayne (uuuuuurgh....) Ellie  High above the mucky-muck, castle made of clouds; there sits Wonderboy, sitting oh so proudly.... |
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NSnaomian Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232In my troll closet I be |
Wow, I like how this is done!I don't have any comments except, great description and a wonderous job well done! =-Laura-= Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job. |
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foreverwithyou Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204Wonderland |
like it like it |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
pretty dark dark enough to scare Lizzy that's a first and you did it là où est mon amour? |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Yeah, I thought this was intended for AF too. Seems to describe her rather well. Enjoyed the read. I like poetry that descriptively addresses a second party like this. Nice writing, El. Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
Again, I thought that this was about lizzy, till I read the part about her hair being rarely tied... (You're beautoful with your hair out Lizzy )But yeah, this is sooo befitting Lizzy it's freaky. You write amazingly El, more of the poetry stuff you keep hidden!! Make me laugh again  Are you scared? |
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anawnda Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 113 |
i like this poem a lot, you made EJ come so real and alive and the imagery, decription or whatever you call it was so vivid and full of conflicting emotions. anyway what im really trying to say is that, i love it |
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