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Teen Poetry #6

The City of Mirrors

SimpleDiscourse
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 79

0 posted 2003-08-03 08:11 PM

In the City of Mirrors
she cannot escape herself.
And she cannot tell
what is reality versus
what is reflection.

In the City of Mirrors
she bears witness to
her transgressions and
finally understands why
she is not good enough.

In the City of Mirrors
she finally sees that
reflection is the only reality.
And she fails to evade
her own faults and flaws.

In the City of Mirrors
she cannot escape herself.
And she cannot tell
what is reality versus
what is reflection.

This could've been a lot better. But I got really stuck. So...this is what I ended up with.

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

1 posted 2003-08-03 09:02 PM

its all about....smiles and cries, cuz thats all you got.

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

2 posted 2003-08-04 02:25 AM

Amazing poem, great imagery!
I really really love this one!
I don't see much wrong with it, you might have been able to add another stanza at the end, but it's just fine the way it is too.
Once again, excellent write, and going in my library.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

3 posted 2003-08-04 03:47 PM

It was good, the concept was good, but it could be better. Don't be so general, elaborate on what her faults are and why she can't escape them. What she REALLY sees in the mirrors. Good write, these are just my thoughts.
~Lex..

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

4 posted 2003-08-04 04:07 PM

I agree with Lexy. Other than that, I enjoyed this poem. The third stanza was most def. my favortie! Good job! ~Jess

"At the touch of love, everything becomes a poem." -Plato

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