navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Needs a title...
Teen Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic Needs a title... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
MonrchssKris
New Member
since 2003-07-29
Posts 5
Indiana, USA

0 posted 2003-07-29 05:35 PM



I haven't thought of a title for this yet...if you have any ideas or any critiques let me know!!(I am kind of a "new poet" and could use all of the tips I can get)

The way you look into her eyes
Still catches me by surprise
I know you love her, with all your heart
But everyday I wish you would part
So I could spend just one night
In your arms, you holding me tight

The way you talk of her with delight
Sends me a chill, even a fright
I'm afraid I've passed up my chance
To be with you, to kiss you and dance
I pray every night, that it may come true
That one day I'll be together with you

But I have to wait, of this I'm sure
Because your love for her seems so pure
So until the day my wish comes true
All I can say is, I Love You

There is only one kind of love but there a thousand different versions ~The time when you saw only one set of footprints, that was when I carried you

© Copyright 2003 Kristin - All Rights Reserved
Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
1 posted 2003-07-29 07:35 PM


Hey, welcome. For being new at poetry this is pretty good. A little cliche' but this is good.
Keep writing, you'll surprise yourself with the things you come up with.
~Lex

dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

2 posted 2003-07-29 08:16 PM


haha, *hatred laughs and thinks of lust, it is truly corrupting*  

good write

Song_for_Serenity
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 97
USA
3 posted 2003-07-29 10:34 PM


Hey there! Great job, for a new poet. I don't know what you could call this. Maybe you can use the name of the most prominent emotion that you're feeling as the title. I dunno, just a suggestion. Anyways, have a spiffy day!
Sealed with a

~Angela
"Anything less than mad, passionate love is wasting your time...Life has too many mediocre things in it, love shouldn't be one of them..."

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Needs a title...

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary