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idleeyes86
Member

since 2003-06-09

Posts 64
Somewhere over the rainbow

0 posted 2003-06-13 08:33 AM

Hey having just finished my exams (woohoo) I thought I'd post this and see what you think, I wrote it at the end of my English exam, lol. I was had just written an essay on Dylan Thomas's poem "Do not go gentle into that good night" which accounts for the quotes I've included, it was a 5 minutes well spent I thought, see what you think.

I should be writing now,

I should be being productive,

...I am being productive.

In 5 minutes I will be able to do nothing,

but read this poem and try to understand

why I wasted those last 300 seconds

~~~

I am not nervous,

Its not really the end,

if this poem is good it will bring me far closer

to happiness

than if my essay is good.

~~~

I look around at the plain, bored, tired faces.

All desperately concentrating on trying to concentrate,

all looking at the one face,

that will tell them when its all over.

~~~

Some "rage, rage against the dying of the light"

scribbling desperately,

trying to cram as many words

into the small space as possible

~~~

180 seconds

~~~

Shall I continue writing till the end?

A final grab at making my time worthwhile,

or shall I merely "go gentle into that good night"

await that final call

an end to this long, long time

~~~

Some decided to leave early,

assuming that there was nothing else they could give,

or be given by time.

~~~

Time is deciding there is nothing I have left to give

He is slowly marching his way towards me

waiting to examine how I have used my time

before I am given my fate

for my life

I am dead

Everybody hurts, take comfort in your friends, cos everybody hurts sometimes

(r.e.m)

tonia
Junior Member

since 2003-06-13

Posts 41
taiwan

1 posted 2003-06-13 09:18 AM

hey,
hahaha..i think your poem is quite funny...but in a good way though...=)
and i feel the exactly same way as you do.
i think it would be great if you could let some of the ending words rhyme. im an inexperienced poet,too. so dont take my suggestion srsly if you dont want to.
tonia
ps. great poem

LegalSecret69
Member

since 2003-06-04

Posts 69
Virginia

2 posted 2003-06-13 09:27 AM

I really liked this....I thought it was very creative. ...nice job -Jess

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