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navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Early June Inebriation
Teen Poetry #6
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SimpleDiscourse
Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 79
0 posted 2003-06-05 10:50 PM


In early June
smiles against eyelids
provoke whispered emotions:
"I wish I could inhale the ocean
  without choking on salt."
When fingertips graze
virgin lips beneath
stormy skies,
bottles can't keep
anything inside of them.


[uh, it's only this short because i didn't know how to end it..but i like it anyway]

[This message has been edited by SimpleDiscourse (06-06-2003 07:10 PM).]
© Copyright 2003 Erin Reynolds - All Rights Reserved
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2003-06-05 10:54 PM

I'm thinking it's great the way it is, and I think you ended it perfectly!
SimpleDiscourse
Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 79
2 posted 2003-06-06 08:26 PM

thanks. i'm just going to quietly try and bump this up because soon it will be off the page and that will be uncool.
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navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Early June Inebriation

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