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Teen Poetry #6

Temporary Alibis

Chameleon
Member

since 2002-08-07

Posts 99
Australia

0 posted 2003-05-08 03:17 AM

Temporary Alibis

All I want is an unarmed friend,
For more than an hour, I’ll pretend again.
I’ll keep my promise true to you,
to never stare you down again.

Discreetly chew and spit again.
Use our perfect alibis.
Forget so much to even compromise.

But I don’t want to walk with tainted eyes,
your tainted glance… again.

I’ll wear your scent to throw you off.
For more than an hour I will stop to laugh.
Walking a distance with a vibe to cross,
to never meet your eyes again.

....again.

blueyedlioness
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 289
USA

1 posted 2003-05-08 12:18 PM

Hmm... the only thing missing is the story behind it.

Great job.

snoduck
Member

since 2002-11-15

Posts 99
Selah, WA

2 posted 2003-05-08 02:43 PM

i'm going to have to agree with blue... great poem though. Thanks for sharing. (p.s. don't mind if i thread you to my library?)

-Erica-

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

3 posted 2003-05-10 12:08 PM

Hmm...not really sure where you're coming from with this. But great job, anyway!!! Really nice poem!

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

FlyingCloud
Member

since 2003-04-28

Posts 151
A little place inside my head

4 posted 2003-05-11 12:50 PM

I think that it needs to be expanded slightly, but other than that, its a good poem.

+Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.+
T. S. Eliot (1888 - 1965)

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