If I - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #6

If I

Chloey
Member

since 2002-09-29

Posts 74
in a silver mustang convertible

0 posted 2002-10-07 08:12 AM

If i am ur partner
you try to trade
If i say hi
you turn away
If i write you a note
I dont get a reply
when i try to tell you
"cant you see i like you"
You laughat me
If i say be nice to me
You end up being meaner

You can fall from the sky,
You can fall from a tree,but,
The best way to fall is in love with me

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

1 posted 2002-10-07 08:25 AM

Aw....poor chloey.....good poem though...I like th little rhyme accidently slipped in...

Ri

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

2 posted 2002-10-07 10:55 PM

Hmm... I'm not sure about this one. I think that if you maybe fixed up your spelling and puncuation it would work better... then again, I'm a stickler for spelling and puncuation. I do like the basis of what you have though, it works for me

A toque IS a hat! And I have one!

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-10-09 03:22 PM

This is quite the tricky string of consequences... try something new. Maybe words aren't always the best way.

Or maybe this one simply isn't the right partner for you.

Keep smilin', girl.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Chloey
Member

since 2002-09-29

Posts 74
in a silver mustang convertible

4 posted 2002-10-09 10:50 PM

Thanx everyone!!!:-)

*$*Chloey*$*

You can fall from the sky,
You can fall from a tree,but,
The best way to fall is in love with me

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.