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| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Trapped |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
Drowning in a swirling mass of hot golden liquid. Twisted amongst veins of pulsating blood. Darkness falls upon this slowly writhing pool. Curling into the fetal position to try and remain safe. Bitterness invades these waters and turns everything to ice. Swimming to the top but I'm trapped. Beneath the ice. If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Triskaidekaphobia Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 251In a state of disrepair... |
Simple, effective and well written with many different interpretations... Nice poem. There should be a psychology of feet. For do we not make decisions with our legs and walk about on our brains? What do you mean "No, not really"? |
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BabieDoll Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268BFE |
Love the poem! Keep up the good work! You better go look at some of mine and comment on mine too.  |
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Rider New Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 7Framingham (rural Massachusetts) |
I liked the poems simplicity. It didn't have a lot of babbling and usless words most people throw in. Very good! |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
oooooooooooooh bella, nicely done! i loved every bit of it. the format was really effective for hammering in every one of words. excellent poem. Congratulations! It's a bisexual! |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Wonderful poem!! I really love this one. Especially the last 2 stanzas. You did a great job on this one! Keep it up! WinterWren |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
thank you all. i'm glad you liked this one. thanks again, your replies are much appreciated.  If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain. |
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Ephraim Junior Member
since 2002-12-07
Posts 24 |
Dude. Cool. . . . . . Yes, more. The poem is brief in it's words, but not in it's meanings. Good word choices, good imagery. I'm glad I read your poem, Mr. Grinder. One suggestion... putting your signature next to the poem is rather distracting.  E |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
thanks, i'm glad u liked it, by the way, i'm a girl lol If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain. |
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barbaraj Member
since 2003-01-24
Posts 139Nova Scotia, Canada |
 great poem dudette!  ~You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in people, than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.~ |
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PoetryIsLife 
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
 [This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (02-16-2003 06:30 PM).] |
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Quiet Acquiescence Member
since 2003-02-16
Posts 70somewhere out here |
hey gurl, nice poem. it's, in a way, straight forward..but then again it keeps you wondering.......like there's a hidden mystery behind it. i really liked the wording. keep this style, i like it. ~*~me~*~ "Don't let fear's bronze weigh you down. Courage is wings,so melt the bronze and fly honey!" |
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