untitled - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

ShadyMakaveli
Member

since 2002-08-21

Posts 128

0 posted 2002-09-14 02:27 AM

Life's getting hectic
At times a skeptic
How so
In a world, i don't know
I just occupy, living to die
Escape reality by getting high
No reply, i'm wrong, can't deny
How i am, you really wanna know
Confused, not knowing which way to go
Emotions swaying to and fro
I try and hide the tears that flow
Starting to see it's usless, tears leaking
No use in keeping a secret, you i'm seeking
Us as one an illusion, now a delusion
I'm excluding my feelings, creating confusion
Wrong in my ways, sick of today
Anxious cause tomorrow might go my way

EagleScorpion
Senior Member

since 2000-03-08

Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever

1 posted 2002-09-15 12:28 PM

well.. i fail to see all of us as one an illusion.. since we are all experiencing the same thing pretty much.. were all in this together..

shadymakaveli..

well ive

gottapiceofnewsson

that might

makeyouchangeyourmind

your life

ishistoricallymeaningful

and spans

asignificanttime

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2002-09-16 12:36 PM

This is interesting, it reads through like a rap song.

It does have some good content, but I'm not a fan of the style. Very flowing though, I can appreciate that.

Nice work.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Kielo
Senior Member

since 2002-02-11

Posts 1109

3 posted 2002-09-16 02:26 PM

I liked it. Personally, I like the style, I think it works well without punctuation, because that's how I write when I'm really upset. Nicely done.

Kielo

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

4 posted 2002-10-20 09:40 PM

I liked this, it had a nice rhythm to it. Like someone said- it could have been turned into a rap of some sort. I liked the message within it too. Thanks for sharing

Are you scared?

BOO! Are you now?

[This message has been edited by cherish (10-20-2002 09:41 PM).]

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2002-10-21 11:04 AM

I thought it was pretty good. Well done .

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.