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Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2003-01-22 10:39 AM

She runs through the motions
everyday, attempting to find herself
in the empty boxes of cereal
and the rancid milk in the fridge.
She polishes the ring
with the edge of her worn t-shirt,
watches 'Benny and Joon'
for the fourth time that day,
waits for him to call
and decides that the fourth track
on every CD she owns is the worst one.
She pulls the first string four times,
and the second one once
and the lights go out.
"whatcha doin'?" he asks and she laughs,
she has to say something,
she promised not to say "nothing" anymore,
so she says "It's not important"
and they argue about importance
until she sighs and sleeps.

In her dreams, she hides from them
coughs and runs in the other direction,
Saturn with it's precious rings
couldn't take her breath away
so why should he?
And the little one diverts her attention
so that she won't think about her decision
and the way it affected him
they say he doesn't care anymore,
than why does it feel like he does?
And she wishes it were normal
the way it used to be
back when she was vapor
and no one knew her name.

[This message has been edited by Allysa (01-23-2003 10:15 AM).]

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

1 posted 2003-01-22 11:25 AM

This was a really different poem. I understood some of it anyway lol! But I liked it, I think you did a good job with this one.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change?" -Dishwalla-

Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

2 posted 2003-01-23 10:40 PM

"And she wishes it were normal
the way it used to be
back when she was vapor
and no one knew her name."

I really loved this poem. I think I've read a few by you recently (I don't know if I replied) and I'm liking your style a lot. You have a way with words that appeals to me. Thank you.

- Jaime

Shiva went on break now look at how much it's gonna take to make this place a space where we can breathe.

[This message has been edited by Jaime (01-23-2003 10:41 PM).]

barbaraj
Member

since 2003-01-24

Posts 139
Nova Scotia, Canada

3 posted 2003-01-24 09:24 PM

this was a great poem. i really felt i could understand what she was feeling in the poem. it was different and i enjoyed the way you put it out there.

Eromyna
Member

since 2002-11-29

Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA

4 posted 2003-01-24 10:03 PM

That is beautiful. You are gifted.

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

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