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Teen Poetry #6

Wasting Away (If Only)

Trouble Breathing
Member

since 2002-11-12

Posts 63

0 posted 2003-01-14 11:47 PM

Look at him, wasting his life away
Save the drama for another day
He did this too himself,
And I’m paying for it anyway,
Watch him, as his life loses meaning
Void of all care, thinking he lives like a king
But even a king loses his crown,
Leaving himself empty,
With nothing to do but frown,
And it’s sad,
To see all that potential cast aside
And it hurts,
To his life going to waste,
And If only he tried,
Things may have been different,
If only he tried,
It may have been better,
It can’t have been worse,
If only he tried,
He could have freed himself of his curse

NSnaomian
Member

since 2002-07-22

Posts 232
In my troll closet I be

1 posted 2003-01-15 12:27 PM

I like how you relate him to many things and thats good. Maybe some stronger words would help this out...
I liked reading this and I know what you mean..I know some people like that too.
Laura

"All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life."
-Oscar Wilde

~KNIGHT44~
New Member

since 2000-11-21

Posts 6
ohio

2 posted 2003-01-15 01:19 PM

I just wanted you to know that I can totally relate to your poem and you did a wonderful job putting those feelings into words.

~Friends are angels who pick you up when your wings forget how to fly~

foreverwithyou
Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 204
Wonderland

3 posted 2003-01-15 04:39 PM

hey i really really like this poem my fave lines were
      "But even a king loses his crown,
Leaving himself empty..."
     that was really cool lol good job!

     CATHY

"I am who I am who I am who am I?"

Trouble Breathing
Member

since 2002-11-12

Posts 63

4 posted 2003-01-15 06:21 PM

thanks

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