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Teen Poetry #6

Untittled

cutiekate37
New Member

since 2003-01-05

Posts 2

0 posted 2003-01-05 12:09 PM

Look at these chains,
Tied To
My
Feet.
The pain is taking over,
Taking Control
Of
Me.
I think I'm going crazy,
I Can't
Take
Anymore.
Won't you come love me,
And Set
Me
Free?

cutiekate37
New Member

since 2003-01-05

Posts 2

1 posted 2003-01-05 12:15 PM

I was just reading this over...I think I'm going to change "Tied To" to "Tied At"...I don't know..I'm not sure which one sounds better...

foreverwithyou
Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 204
Wonderland

2 posted 2003-01-05 12:19 PM

i agree that "at" soundz better this was good welcome nice first post man!!!!
###CATHY###

"I am who I am who I am who am I?"

Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

3 posted 2003-01-05 12:53 PM

Welcome to Pip.

I think I like 'at' better too, but hey - it's your poem.

"and i'm beyond your peripheral vision, so you might want to turn your head cause someday you might find you are starving and eating all of the words

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