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Smoothy
Member

since 2002-12-02

Posts 119
The dark side of the moon

0 posted 2002-12-28 06:18 PM

Left out,
Locked out,
Chained to the wall,
Apart from the rest,
But is it my fault?

Darkness,
Shadows,
My only friends,
Just like the rest,
When it comes to the end.

Why me?
Why now?
Why feel locked out?
Why try?
Why not?
I've got to get out...

Love conquers all, so I must be in a losing battle.

CloudedDreams
Member

since 2002-11-23

Posts 210
My Fantasy Realm

1 posted 2002-12-28 08:12 PM

This is a very good poem. I feel the desperation in the words. Well written.

OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 245

2 posted 2002-12-28 09:00 PM

I loved it. It's what I want to say, put perfectly. I don't think it could have been any better and I really really really like the idea and how you portrayed it. Nice job. The title I think could be better just because Prison Cell seems too easy... just a suggestion of course.

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

3 posted 2002-12-29 06:27 PM

I think that's the first one I've read of yours that isn't a love poem. I really liked it alot! alot alot. very good. wonderful. well expressed. Beautiful. powerful...need I continue?

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change?" -Dishwalla-

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

4 posted 2002-12-29 06:29 PM

*tip toes through* I forgot to put it in my library.

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

5 posted 2002-12-29 10:26 PM

Well, I must say, this is an interesting, departure, from your usual poems. lol. I thought it was very good, though if you'd answered the phone yesterday and come to the party with us, you'd not have been able to write it. Hmm.... I wonder which is better... lol. It'a great poem, so it's probably for the best! Later!

"You can't hurt meee!! 'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!"

WindSong
Member

since 2002-12-23

Posts 313
Long Island, New York

6 posted 2002-12-29 11:13 PM

This is good. I like it a lot. Nice job...~*~Me~*~

~Loving you isn't the problem, getting too close is.~
*Mistakes are made, you pay for them, then you do it again.*
~*Love doesn't make the world go

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