Angel vs. Devil - pipTalk Forums

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roxywrestlegirl04
Member

since 2002-10-29

Posts 74
good ole DINWIDDIE

0 posted 2002-12-16 08:23 PM

I'm trying to decide what's right and what's wrong
Should I go to that party or should I stay home alone?
After all this thinking and angel popped up and said,
If i know you, you'll decide to stay home instead

You're a good girl with a good life ahead of you
you want a husband and a few good kids too

Oh Angel, look over here
Is this the halo that you hold so dear?

You've done a few things wrong in your life too
So listen up, here's what she's gonna do

She's gonna go to this party and drink lots of beer,
Then she's gonna try to drive right back here.

The car will be loaded with friends continuing the fun,
A cop will flash his blue lights and she'll be on the run

Now remember, she's drunk so she can hardly see
Now in front of her is the trunk of a big ole tree

But devil, she's a good girl with a smart brain in her head
She doesn't wanna end up on the pavement, DEAD!

Especially with her friends in the car,
The ones she holds dear from near and far.

She has a life ahead of her, I told you before
She's not gonna end up on hell's burning floor.

Angel, what am I still holding here?
The halo that goes on your head, now who should you fear?

Reassess yourself and think, how did i die,
What is it that now makes me fly?

You may not remember much, but i surely do!
You were driving your baby to the hospital because she had the flu.

The light was green so you went
Then, out of nowhere, a car came; your car got flipped,

You were rushed to the hospital, the deed was done,
All because some kids wanted to have some fun

The driver, they say, was extremely drunk,
She was swerving to keep from hitting a tree trunk.

Your baby is gone and so are you,
Because someone was drinking and driving too.

rOxXbabY391
Member

since 2002-12-14

Posts 71

1 posted 2002-12-16 08:51 PM

OMG! this was SOOOOOO goo0od. Geez ive heard a lot of stories similar to this but this seemed very original. I couldn't and woulllldn't stop reading this till i got to the end. Its like a story and a poem.. i luved it. keeep writing! :-D
~*~eMiLy~*~

"I don't think I can make it through one more night. 'Cause how do you answer "What's wrong?" ~ when nothing is right.

Stinky Twinkie
Member

since 2002-11-26

Posts 204
Dinwiddie

2 posted 2002-12-16 09:27 PM

I remember this one from class. It tells a good story and it tells the story well, if that makes sense. It has a powerful message behind it, which makes it interesting to read. I'll give you an A for this one.

-Stinky Twinkie-

xxxnuttyangelxxx
Member

since 2002-12-06

Posts 72
New York

3 posted 2002-12-16 09:38 PM

Wow.. this poem deff can give an impact on anyone who is reading it.. this was a great piece of work .. i wish it was continued it was a very good read.. thanks for sharing

shea

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

4 posted 2002-12-21 01:50 AM

roxywrestlegirl04~
This is an excellent piece of writing.
You've done an incredible job of conveying
an EXTREMELY important message and you've
done it in a VERY powerful way.
So many people could benefit from reading this.
I commend you for writing it and sharing it with us.
Well done.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

5 posted 2002-12-22 08:13 PM

Hey Liz, great job! I loved this! I'm glad you're posting here, your work is really good. Keep it up!

*Me*
I'm pasteing my smile back on just to please you... I always knew Elmer's glue was good for something...

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