Tears From Behind Blue Eyes

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xxxnuttyangelxxx
Member

since 2002-12-06

Posts 72
New York

0 posted 2002-12-16 04:52 PM

I wrote this poem when I was locked out of my house after school for over and hour in the FREEZING cold..I decided to write thinking maybe it would keep me warm.. lol

Tears fall from behind blue eyes,
each tear which rolls has a story inside.

The first tear which trickles down her cheek,
is of words she never uttered,
because she found them hard to speak

As she tastes the moist salt on her lips,
she trys to hold on but feels as though she is loosing grip

The second tear begins to form-
now all she can do is pray for the sun after the storm

This tear which drips from her chin,
is of pain and anger all held from within

Now she trys to fight back the tears,
but the last one is shed-

This tear is filled with the horrible, dreadful thoughts embedded deep within her head

She wipes away her final tears from her eyes,
Stands up shakily and continues walking with a disguise-
Till the next time tears fall from behind her blue eyes.

wvplayernotreally
Member

since 2002-11-06

Posts 215
yakima wa

1 posted 2002-12-16 06:52 PM

Hey this was good...i enjoyed the lines

"The second tear begins to form-
now all she can do is pray for the sun after the storm"

We can all really relate to that...good job

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

Rainbowdust
Member

since 2002-12-05

Posts 320
Sydney, Australia

2 posted 2002-12-16 08:50 PM

Great idea to write a poem about, and executed well too!

I really enjoyed it; thanks for sharing and I hope writing did keep you warm!

The soul would have no rainbows, had the eyes no tears.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

3 posted 2002-12-21 01:27 AM

nuttyangel~
I'm really enjoying reading your poetry,
and this one is no exception.
Another nicely penned piece from you.
Keep up the great work.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

4 posted 2002-12-21 02:57 PM

I thought this was really good. I noticed a few places where the flow might have been a little smoother, but overall I think it was great. I hope you're warm now!

OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 245

5 posted 2002-12-21 03:24 PM

Awww... That is a really well written and good poem. It's not too specific which I think is good because you can apply it to your own situation, and the tears from the blue eyes makes it easy to see. It's extrememly good and I hope it makes it because I want everyone to see that. You should submit it to a book. Very very very nice work, maybe the best I've seen so far on PiP.

-othersideofthemirror

xxxnuttyangelxxx
Member

since 2002-12-06

Posts 72
New York

6 posted 2002-12-21 03:53 PM

Thank you for the responses, I would love for one of my poems to get published but im nervous to ever submit one. Thanks for the comments, I could see where the rythem was thrown off and im still tryin to work on that .. thank you for pointing that out..Im glad you like it..ill be posting more soon

much love,
shea

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