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Open Poetry #22
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Maybe it's the storm I'm listening to
| Open Poetry #22 |
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Maybe it's the storm I'm listening to |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I seem to have misplaced myself while trying to be me there is no time blessed canal no groove of friction on expectation my body notes a date that my mind cannot conceive I still wake up much too slowly pure will slows the spin of the eraser on the wall I am absolutely lost I am absolutely in love the dream was much clearer than this the dream had no challenge no possible ending dreams remain as long as hearts touch absolute fantasy has become reality I think I understood the dream better I am absolutely lost I am absolutely in love are you going to catch me you know I don’t like heights what am I doing up here why does nothing else matter without you why did I let myself climb these stairs from the bliss of loves ignorance if you’re going to stop loving me please do it soon before I’m too high off the ground I don’t want to die on the way down |
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| © Copyright 2002 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Wow! That ending is POWERFUL! Yep, "If you're going to stop loving me..." Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Perhaps it was "displacement" that made you feel so lost-- the need for love so powerful you never felt the loss of the surety of self-- acceptance came through lover's eyes-- reflected oh so beautifully-- "Is this the self, that I despised?" I know the wonder of this, m'Dunc. Your a lovely man, and allow yourself to be loved for a change, eh? Hugs, you! |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Oh what an ending, Duncan... "I don't want to die on the way down" A very powerful write...  ~ chipmunky hugsLyra |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Did you have the same storm we had tonight? WOW! Talk about thunder and lightning, lots of noise, very little rain. Anyway, your poem is great! It has an energy and life of it's own, a momentum that could outrun a tornado.  "if you’re going to stop loving me please do it soon before I’m too high off the ground I don’t want to die on the way down" Exactly. [This message has been edited by Midnitesun (08-23-2002 01:31 AM).] |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  (big hugggsssssss) Oh Duncan, I understand these feeling so well, this is very intense and I wish for love to keep you afloat always and set you free! (sigh) This is excellent, sweet friend, I think this would make a great song, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Duncan, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
You got a storm last night??? Why didn’t you send it here….I love storms!!! Maybe it’s the storm That makes you sing the blues Distant sound of thunder Thinking of adieus I’ll catch you if you’re falling From a world above the sky I’ll break your fall to earth again Don’t be afraid to fly Damn long poem for a boy that can’t keep an attention span for more than five minutes!!!   You can never win or lose |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
trying to pick a favorite line or two, but can't. The piece is beautiful! And I know the feeling of being that way...long gone now, but I remember. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Duncan, Now that's what I call elegant. well done, enjoyed. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
absolute fantasy has become reality I think I understood the dream better I am absolutely lost I am absolutely in love are you going to catch me you know I don't like heights what am I doing up here why does nothing else matter without you ============================ if you're going to stop loving me please do it soon before I'm too high off the ground I don't want to die on the way down ============================== We wish ourselves beautiful We cry in the night And it's not the love you feared ... But the fall from the height My personal ledges ... Afraid to look down My crepe paper bridges ... Enough water to drown. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And the hearts fall in the right places And the hearts fall in the right places And how she loves me, I don’t understand And if time won’t change me, perhaps she can And I feel her trying when we’re apart And I feel like dying My selfish anger and I just run away But a perfect heart always makes me stay And the hearts fall in the right places And the hearts fall in the right places ~~~~~~~~~ songs by Edwin McCain In the space between now and then |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Oh Dang Duncan!! This is SO good! Absolutely outstanding ending. ~Hugs~ ~ Time has cast a spell on you |
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walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
Love demands too much, but we still give in  |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Duncan - love has many doors it seems, this is an excellent write about them... BC |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Wonderfully expressed!! Enjoyed. Chris Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
Duncan, This is a feeling I know all to well. I hope you have better luck than I do in love. Dawn |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Duncan This is just how it is at first...and no, so glad it doesnt get worse...its flying, its falling, its turning around...and landing on earth with both hands on the ground. Lovely love! Sigh! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Do you need to borrow my well-used parachute? This poem expresses the angst of goodbye so eloquently, I had to bump it back to the top, master Duncan. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
when i speak of honesty, i think i'll have to point to this... quote:my favorite bit of a poem that has more excellent lines than any other i've seen in a while. raw, and not concerned with the 'ethics of understanding...' i like that, a lot. you meshed together a few pieces of things that we all know of (assuming we haven't shared the experience) with the 'images of a dream' that we can derive meaning from, but will surely not achieve your mind's eye with. (which is a good thing, i think... often, i like my mental images better than the ones the author intended). in all, nice. peace d-man C |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Did you really mean for me to shed a tear? |
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SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
Duncan,There are so many wonderful lines in this poem. I wouldn't know where to begin. "I seemed to have misplaced myself While trying to be me" etc. etc. I really enjoyed this write. Very powerful and very universal. SimplyGold |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I know this feeling...I hadn't read yours first before posting and baring myself this morning...yours says it so much better than mine. *s M |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Great write Duncan....very powerful.... Lauren~ The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket |
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