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Open Poetry #22
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Sketch.....
| Open Poetry #22 |
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Sketch..... |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA 
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Sketch Alone, silence becomes me wondering why his hands still sting the slap across my skin, and why there is no shadow echoing it’s feel, it’s heart-hardened scar. I recall that sketch of Daddy, so perfect at the time of a child’s blind-eye forgiveness, so endearing, innocence always finding the faith because once I saw you smile, and once you actually held me, and then, we stared at it together, and for a brief interlude, I was happy. Now it stares at me, lopsided, loud-mute pain, and hangs coldly on rusted nail to my wall, no longer anyone I once remotely knew or loved. It is but an olive-skinned, old man’s face, your black eyes, Hitler-hate mustache, a man drawn of a truth I’d still rather not know. It was but a hope born here on my wall, someone who could have been my hero, when in fact, it is no one at all. This power I held, this belief in you, in myself, I can actually feel it draining through my fingertips to soak against my eyes in defeat. I feel the very core of who I was become so average, almost invisible. All the dreams I once saw, I couldn’t envision anymore. All I could see were my regrets, my weaknesses, my mistakes, and my ugliness. The best part of me just died. I paint others sheer delight with affection, gifts, portraits of praise, like a ritual of begging... take this token, I’m sorry for existing, please forgive me for being ordinary, I’m not worthy of your love. So, they only take me for granted even more, and, I can’t blame them, I’ve taught them that I’m not good enough. It’s hard to face the fact that I’ve become nothing because of memories, bitter-based hue on sorrow skin, too strong to forget, too stark to remember. Alone, silence becomes me wondering why your hands still sting the slap across my youth, and why there is no shadow echoing it’s feel, it’s heart-hardened scar. By Melissa P. Monette [This message has been edited by Honeybee (09-15-2002 01:09 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
It is but an olive-skinned, old man’s face, your black eyes, Hitler-hate mustache, a man drawn of a truth I’d still rather not know. It was but a hope born here on my wall, someone who could have been my hero, when in fact, it is no one at all. I have a photograph somewhere of my father holding the hand of my little sister as they walked into Disneyworld many years ago. It was a favorite of mine for years, because in it I saw a potential for love that I would never realize from him. Finally, I just learned to live with the view of the back of his head. This is a remarkable poem! |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
"Alone, silence becomes me wondering why your hands still sting the slap across my youth, and why there is no shadow echoing it’s feel, it’s heart-hardened scar."  (big hugggssssss) Oh Melissa, my heart goes out to you, no one ever deserves to be treated and raised like that and be left neglected by a father, for a true father should be a child's hero and supportive every step of the way and show a child when he or she is wrong but with compassion and gentle discipline! (sad sigh) My heart goes out to you but truly know you ARE somebody, and not jus anybody but a loving person with a golden heart and with the strength you show you are bound to find true happiness always! (wipes tears) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Melissa, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
This is really sad. But it is well written. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
An absolutely heart-wrenching write. Powerful and painful...so well done Melissa. ~Hugs~ ~ Time has cast a spell on you |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Your words made me think about my Father and how my siblings thought me his favorite and how I never knew that feeling...strange how we perceive ourselves and the relationships within our family...a very thoughtful poem..one I wish to save and read again and again. Thank you for sharing. *s M |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Melissa, A strong and excellent write and I can only comment on that.  |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
An outstanding "sketch" of betrayal and the one betrayed. Strong write, much applauded. ~wranx In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward". |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
Oh Melissa, this is truly a gut-wrenching story but your writing is superb. I am sorry....Hugs, Marti |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Melissa, it tore at my heart to read this, such power in your words. There is nothing ordinary about you. In fact, you are quite the opposite. An excellent piece, my friend.  *hugs* The stars will shine when I am gone, |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
I too have memories of my dad, the loving kindness he showed..but also his distance..nice write |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Melissa - this write brought back many of the same memories. I always felt it a shame that one couldn't be closer to ones own blood... BC |
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~ViXeN~ Member
since 2000-01-09
Posts 93Guelph, Ont. Canada |
I feel your pain. I have never felt close with my father, although he was never cruel, he was just never there. |
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Moonlight Romeo
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982The heart of you |
It is amazing the power that a Father can have, even when he is gone. Thank you. What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
WOW!!! This stung even me. Very powerful. A great write! |
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CSKpoet Senior Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 845Island in Paradise |
this hurts me for you..I experienced this from my mother..not my father..it is a hard scar and remains..and oh , my friend I wiwish to send you hugs! once again, Melissa, you pen it well whatever you write. hugs, Cher Poetry is: |
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fishop Member
since 2002-09-13
Posts 79ohio |
My daughter (9 yrs) was standing beside me and I said pick one to look at. She picked sketch. I read it aloud and as I did, a tear came to my eye! I asked her what she thought it meant and she said you were treated bad by your Dad. I look at her and can't imagine your pain. Sketch is very moving and beautifully said. I wish you the best Tom |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
I love the raw feel here, Melissa... and I am so sorry that you had to experience that sadness...but you wrote it so beautifully and I hope that it expunged some of that awful feeling. ~ hugs and tearsLyra |
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