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Open Poetry #22
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Magnus
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since 2001-10-10
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South Carolina, USA

0 posted 2002-09-02 05:08 PM


You asked her why?
Why now, why him, just simply why..

Silence cut the still air
as hearts thudding headlong
fell into a shattering
of blubbering
emotions..

Eyes said it..
The emptiness, lack of gleam.
Lifeless eyes.

She thought....
a quivering lip, sideways glance
twirling of the ring, our ring..
A death borne sigh
escaping

These were her words...

He never told me, told me he cared
He never held me, held me and shared.
He always did just what he might
Never home at dinner, late nights.

He never wanted to say he did.
Always scolded like a small kid.
He often spoke only one word
This was all that I ever heard.

I cannot be the mistress too
I cannot feel what I can’t do.
I don’t want to be second choice
I want a home, I have a voice.

He stood there, a tear falling
as his lips quivered as well
He bowed his head, recalling
thoughts she said, did tell.

These were his words:

I know she needs more than I gave
I know she is not just my slave.
I treated her as I would a dog.
I called her worse than would a hog.

I cannot tell her not to go
I cannot say I didn’t know.
Her eyes have said for very long
That she was right, that I was wrong.

I have been saying all along
I was so weak, and her so strong.
Now I will ask for her to let
me let her go, let her forget.

For she now needs a man who will
give her his love, not make her ill.
I have not learned yet how to say
How much I needed her each day.

I sat there silent with my male pride
I sat there fuming, feelings I’d hide.
I acted selfish, so insensitive.
I never asked, I didn’t give.

And now I give her what she deserves. To be treated as an equal, to be loved
and served. She is a woman, a human being too. I want her happiness,
I truly do...

Goodbye beautiful woman....you deserve the best...

This is fictional, but reflects much truth...

[This message has been edited by Magnus (09-02-2002 05:11 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
1 posted 2002-09-02 05:24 PM


Barry - fictional or not, it's so true.

And now I give her what she deserves. To be treated as an equal, to be loved and served. She is a woman, a human being too. I want her happiness, I truly do...

Just a little extra is all it takes to give to show someone that one cares. Just a little...

BC

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
2 posted 2002-09-02 05:32 PM


I like this a lot

Cold hands means a warm heart

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2002-09-02 05:33 PM


Barry

So many relationships end just like this and for these reasons.  Again you write with sensitive, the truth.  

catalinamoon
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since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
4 posted 2002-09-02 06:16 PM


Barry, this touches me. As a woman in a bad space, I identify with her here.
Sad that things get to this point, and love gets cast aside from neglect.
Strong writing.
Sandra

Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2002-09-02 06:18 PM




(big hugggssssss) Oh Barry, this is wonderful, sweet friend, it saddens me to see so many women being treated unfairly throughout history, for we all are one, and it doesn't matter what gender or race or creed we are, we are all human and we deserve to treat each other as one deserves to be treated! (sigh) This is powerfully sensitive, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Barry, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
6 posted 2002-09-02 06:35 PM


But soft what light shines in the East, tis wisdom clothed in the words of poetry and tis very real.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Marsha
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Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
7 posted 2002-09-02 06:55 PM


Magnus darling heart as always your writing is superb when it is clothed in a gown of golden wisdom it is stunning. Truly excellent So often the promises of heart are lost in the soul of tomorrow, and you’ve written this beautifully. Exquisite writing, utterly utterly exquisite. The flow of this is excellent, and the rhyme and meter are absolutely spot on.

Beautifully presented my friend absolutely beautiful, you know I love this one utterly utterly utterly. One of your utter best.


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the earthquake wind and fire

Kitty**
Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 428
Charlottesville,VA USA
8 posted 2002-09-02 07:39 PM


Magnus....
  I can't believe that you wrote the story of
my marriage...Every word you wrote was so true for me, and I'm sure there are others that could say the same thing. Be it a man or woman..But don't we all come through it for the better ? I have and I've never had regrets!
Thanks so much for having the insight you do!!

Kitty

* That which gives light, must endure burning *

Magnus
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South Carolina, USA
9 posted 2002-09-02 08:04 PM


Thanx....but it becomes easy to write when
you can reflect backwards in time to another
moment in your own life when things were
too very similar to those I wrote of...

One difference....I tried to change me so
that I didn't have to let her go...Though,
I would have...had she asked to...

And I did change a lot of me,  with yet some
room for improvement...

And yes,  life is not a bowl of cherries
and IS a two way street....

Thanx to all,  I hope I have given something
to each....

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
10 posted 2002-09-03 08:42 AM


So many thoughts flashed through my heart as I read this piece.
Experiences in my own life...and the learning curve of youth...he to become the man, and she to let him.
Beautifully captured the coming of age.
ThisDiamond

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
11 posted 2002-09-03 09:17 AM


Very powerful write Barry.
I think we can all see ourselves perhaps even just a little in here...
makes ya stop and think....
Excellent work.
~Hugs~

~ Time has cast a spell on you
  So you won't ever forget me ~

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
12 posted 2002-09-03 09:27 AM


Barry,
You covered the ground very well. What next?

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
13 posted 2002-09-03 09:31 AM


very sad, and yet.....hits very close to home......peace my friend....
Lauren~

The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind pretend I am weightless and in this moment I am happy

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
14 posted 2002-09-03 09:34 AM


Magnus - this is a wonderful piece of work. Makes me remember some hard times though...but also the realization of the unselfish love I experience now. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
15 posted 2002-09-03 10:00 AM


This may be fictional Barry, but it holds volumes of truth. Great write!
Moonlight Romeo
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The heart of you
16 posted 2002-09-03 10:08 AM


There is much truth here.  If only it were so easy to realize when it happens, and not when it's done.

Thank you.

What light through yon window breaks?  It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
17 posted 2002-09-03 10:16 AM


maggie...this is stonger'n than Balladeer's breath...I really, truly like this...the way you did it and what you said....superb....(I don't often compliment this much unless it was very good)...and rarely compliment without a smart ass remark....
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
18 posted 2002-09-03 10:23 AM


Magnus---If only they had communicated those thoughts to each other before.......

I think you did a masterful job with this one. The way you presented the two sides had tremendous impact.

Linda

Tammy Blessing
Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 366
PA
19 posted 2002-09-04 11:41 AM


Wow!! That's EXACTLY how I felt before my divorce.. I'm sooo glad this is fictional. I'm also very honored to "meet" you and know what a wonderful person you are. You are wonderful to have seen the problems, and you are wonderful for working to change them. I hope your wife appreciates you.
Peace,love,light and happiness
Tammy

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