Heartache-------unfinished

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Lisann
Member

since 2001-01-31

Posts 350

0 posted 2002-06-19 02:12 AM

My heart has been shattered
Like glass on stone
The hurt inside is building up
I feel so all alone.

No arms to wrap around me
In a comforting embrace
Relationships have left me
With a frown upon my face.

The pain is rushing through me
Like a knife plunged in the heart,
Love can't seem to find me
And depression can't seem to part.

So many years of heartache
From torment and abuse
This lonely heart of mine
Has been shattered from misuse.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

1 posted 2002-06-19 04:19 AM

I really like how you sum up the pain in the last verse.....However, the entire poem is well presentated with nice tight rhyme scheme and great emotion.

ctowen
Member Elite

since 2001-10-18

Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT

2 posted 2002-06-19 09:41 AM

I agree .... the last verse sums up your emotions nicely ...the story may be unfinished but your words here have a defined and just expression.

Would look forward to the sequel, especially if it carried a reverse twist.
Hope your day finds warmth in a smile.

Lisann
Member

since 2001-01-31

Posts 350

3 posted 2002-06-19 09:45 AM

Thank you for your replies......It's pretty sad to think how easily the emotions flow and rhyming schemes tend to go better when it is about depression. Anyway....thanks for the write. It is just one of those times....you know?

Krishankins

Senior Member

since 2002-06-23

Posts 972
Texas

4 posted 2002-07-08 10:59 AM

This is so sad! I hope things have been better for you since you posted this one.
I hate to see someone with a broken heart. i know how it feels.
I love your poem about it though!!

Kris

A bird never flies so high that it can't hit the ground

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

5 posted 2002-07-08 11:03 AM

Lisann
The flow is excellent, I enjoyed the read.

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

6 posted 2002-07-13 02:12 PM

I enjoyed the read. It was quite sad.

Cold hands means a warm heart

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

7 posted 2002-07-13 06:04 PM

I know how this feels. Your beautiful poem just touches my heart.

Lisann
Member

since 2001-01-31

Posts 350

8 posted 2002-07-13 06:30 PM

Thank you all for your replies....and yes.......things have picked up since I've written this. But you know how it is.....sometimes you just need to feel the pain and write it out....then...move on.

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