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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2002-08-02 07:30 AM

I Would Trade

I would trade this mossback mind
This starry glade and black of rind
To drop an orbit in the sea
To tear the blanket off of me

This journey full of endless sand
This summand of the blackest band
This trip o’er precipice abyss
This kiss of endless reapers Kris

This wander by a firefly
No lace of land no place to lie
No feel of floor no sense of core
Just shadows misting evermore.

I see but winks of other light
Forever blinking through the night
Twinkling into eternity
On gasbags of sagacity

And I would give one twinkle less
To find a hole of small egress

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

1 posted 2002-08-02 07:49 AM

Thumbing quickly thru my Funk and Wagnals, I think I like this poem a bunch.....let's see,
'P'...(quickly looking up precipice), (Balladeer's next to me looking up eternity)....okay, I see, yep, I like the poem Sy....good work..

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

2 posted 2002-08-02 08:02 AM

Toe,
I knew you would recognize a funky poem. Thank you friend.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

3 posted 2002-08-02 08:17 AM

I would trade this mossback mind
This starry glade and black of rind
To drop an orbit in the sea
To tear the blanket off of me

This journey full of endless sand
This summand of the blackest band
This trip o'er precipice abyss
This kiss of endless reapers Kris
=====================================
Twinkling into eternity
On gasbags of sagacity

And I would give one twinkle less
To find a hole of small egress
=======================================

Stinkylove...No one with a "mossback mind" could write something so impressive in its imagery, its cadence and internal rhyme..in its very very cool vocabulary and word play,
and with its achingly honest and angsty expression of emotion. The conflict you have written of pulls at the heart strings and the closing couplets are classic Sy humilty summation. There are so many impressive, unique and cleverly done lines in this.

This starry glade and black of rind

This summand of the blackest band

This trip o'er precipice abyss

On gasbags of sagacity

Nope...I just dont see a "mossback mind"
I see a master wordsmith with the mind of poetic prophet...and his dragon side kick

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (08-02-2002 08:18 AM).]

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

4 posted 2002-08-02 08:20 AM

way cool sy.........
greasy slick perfect

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

5 posted 2002-08-02 09:09 AM

I awoke, ran downstairs, grabbed my cup of tea..
turned on the computer and searched for...
Seymour Tabin
and there you were...
starting my day off right once again!
That's for a beauty, love.
~morning hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

6 posted 2002-08-02 09:10 AM

JM,
You have taken up residence in my heart and every once in a while give me a start. You sooth the restless roam of my moan and more so in the lament of this poem. Love ya
WWRS

Dark Stranger
Good words to float upon.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

7 posted 2002-08-02 09:16 AM

Enchantress,
I'll take your love and up you two loves.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

8 posted 2002-08-02 09:59 AM

quote:
This wander by a firefly
No lace of land no place to lie
No feel of floor no sense of core
Just shadows misting evermore

Dang.

doubledang

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

9 posted 2002-08-02 10:02 AM

Sunshine,
Double hugs.

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

10 posted 2002-08-02 10:20 AM

Simply beautiful.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

11 posted 2002-08-02 11:08 AM

WhiteRose
Thank you.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

12 posted 2002-08-02 10:00 PM

Your lament is my time well spent

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

13 posted 2002-08-02 10:38 PM

JM,
Thanks for the bump.

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

14 posted 2002-08-02 11:15 PM

Enjoyed lots.
Sandra

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

15 posted 2002-08-03 07:37 AM

Sandra,
Thank you dear.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

16 posted 2002-08-03 11:41 PM

(smiles) Yay!!! Oooohhh...I love this, sweet friend, and I would alwaysn be willing to trade a few minutes to sit back each day and enjoy the wonderful poems you write! (big hugggssssss) This is excellent, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Seymour, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

17 posted 2002-08-03 11:58 PM

I'll echo "dang" and "cool!"
Your use of sophisticated expression, imagery, internal rhyme and classic vocab impresses and leave my pen in humble bow.

Take care,
Melissa~

"Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding
wound...or a smiling mouth"

~Kahlil Gibran~

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