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Open Poetry #21
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Anvrill
Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710
in the interzone now

0 posted 2002-06-27 10:37 AM


Well, I'm rather mopey today. Might steal th' title from Mikhail, my ultimately mopey boytoy. But then again, Mr. Mope just wouldn't work for me.     Maybe Mrs. Mope (aw, the happy couple...). Bad day at work. A friggin' usurper is being trained in my spot on bake; the only part of said job that I can stand. *pout, whimper, mope, complain*

To prove that I am, in fact, mopey, let's have a go at one of my mopiest poems.




A skeletal tree
scratches the icicle air.
Its limbs ache
and strain to feel
what was once
a brush of leaf on leaf
where now it is nothing
on nothing.

The skeletal tree
reaching to heaven,
shivering in the icicle air.
Surely there is something
(so very far away)
to return those that
protected it
and kept it whole.

I drop my jacket
and brace myself
against the icicle air.
The skeletal tree
looks so lonely here
that I may just become
a skeleton below it,
entwined in its roots
and eaten away,
pulled down nearer the grave
that God couldn't correct.


(Nope, no clue why this didn't go into Dark...)



"Sooner or later, they'll never grow up." -Jim Steinman (unreleased and almost completely unheard, but hey)

[This message has been edited by Anvrill (06-27-2002 10:39 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 LL Hager - All Rights Reserved
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
1 posted 2002-06-27 11:46 AM


This is the loneliest, saddest, sere-est poem! I never thought of trees that way. This is a completely wonderful, affecting poem.  I think you should probably be mopey more often, if it makes you write like this. (Sorry)

Nan

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2002-06-27 08:42 PM


I like it..eerie though it is! And it didn't seem too 'mopey' to me....
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-06-27 08:47 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Anvrill, this sounds so very haunting and sad, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you, I am sorry to hear about work and I hope soon the schedule begins to ease down a bit! (sigh) Keep your chin up, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Anvrill, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-06-27 10:40 PM


A beautiful haunting.

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

Anvrill
Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710
in the interzone now
5 posted 2002-06-27 10:41 PM


Thanks, all. And I think those are the fewest words I've ever seen y' use, Mikhail.

"Sooner or later, they'll never grow up." -Jim Steinman (unreleased and almost completely unheard, but hey)

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

6 posted 2002-06-28 12:57 PM


I only use how many words ah need t', Mrs. Mope.

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

shadow74
Junior Member
since 2002-06-26
Posts 12
MI, Water world
7 posted 2002-06-28 01:17 AM


Great poem.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2002-06-28 01:45 AM


I see this as an "opaque wash"--

the white of ice highlighting what WOULD be dreary...if ice and white did not capture so much color, that is.

You two are a great team.

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
9 posted 2002-06-28 06:38 PM


I'm glad you posted this in Open, Anvrill because I always forget to go to the other forums and I would have hated to miss this beauty.

~ haunting hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

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