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Open Poetry #20
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The Scalawag Balladeer has a Good Smoke
| Open Poetry #20 |
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The Scalawag Balladeer has a Good Smoke |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion 
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This supposedly is a true story, only the names have been changed you'll notice I didn't say anything about protecting the innocent - heh It seems that scoundrel, Balladeer, After making the women swoon, Lights up a cigar and pours a beer, As a toast to his finished croon. The beer is cheap, the cigars are not, So Balladeer developed a plan, To ease the burden from the cigars he bought To celebrate his being a "man." ‘Deer searched the web and found with glee Rare cigars, each $600 in cost. He bought two dozen and a policy, Insuring them against being lost. In a month the cigars had "gone up in flame," Each smoked with exceeding pleasure. It was then he filed the insurance claim, To recover his now lost treasure. ‘Deer claimed he'd lost every cigar To small fires happening one at a time. The claim was unusual, even bizarre, But required compensation of every dime. ‘Deer's claim was refused. The adjustor stated, The cigars were consumed, not burned. ‘Deer sued for relief, their position was overrated As they were soon to learn. The judge found for ‘Deer in the ensuing trial Because the policy did not stipulate, The minimum size of the fire, thus no denial That the company must recompensate. Appeals are expensive, so the company paid Balladeer for the cigars he'd lost. 'Deer greedily chortled at the profit he'd made For the cigars he'd smoked at their cost. However... (Heh, you just had KNOW it wouldn't end here) A warrant was filed for ‘Deer's arrest, Arson is considered a serious slip. Two dozen counts, and ‘Deer'd confessed, With the check and the court transcript. The sentence was grave, two years in jail, Suspended, but $24,000 in fines. Another of ‘Deer's plans had failed, You'd think he'd learn after so many times! |
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| © Copyright 2002 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Deep, deep chuckling being done here, Sir, for this bit of wit revised, just so... Where you been, anyway? About time we had some rascals back in here to liven things up! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
LngJhnAg A clever and worthy write and I'm sure Balladeer will enjoy it. But if he is in a fisty mood your in for it. LOL Sy |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Karilea - I has been too long for me. I've missed wonderful people such as you (but not that rascally Balladeer!). Naturally, since 'Deer is now such a stranger, I have free run to expound on my virtues uncontestedly. Sy - I suspect 'Deer is still over on e-Bay bidding on Florida ballot machines. I'm safe for now. lol |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Ha, ha! Still after poor Deer! Bet he gave up smoking after this! Cor |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
ha ha, it is good to have your humor back among us. where ya been?? Like a red brick, |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Long John darling boy Oh my I knew you were good, but I never knew you were this good. I’ve missed you so much, the smiles and the giggles, they have been absent from here for far too long. Wonderful writing, we’ve missed your scallywag ways. You’ve surpassed yourself here. You’re always a good writer, Do I love this? What do you think? …………. YES I love it Absolutely first class writing   Love and warm stuff As always Mushy  To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79 |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
For some odd reason, I felt better just seeing your name... of course, we'll give no consideration at all to the burp that slipped out simultaneously. ROFL... oops Hiya, sailor... it's so good to see you back begging for attention from your fellow scalawag. *G* I'm sure you'll get it... so I'll just settle back and prepare to watch the show. *G* I enjoyed this very much... thanks for the grins! *S* Now please replace those trail-marking breadcrumbs with pebbles so you can find your way back in here on a regular basis! *G* [This message has been edited by suthern (04-25-2002 04:27 PM).] |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
This one had me smiling!  Nan |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Ha ha glad to see you're back, showing your beautiful skill. I'm in front row sitting next to Suthern Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi Lngjhn You made me laugh...that's a very good thing. Good to see you! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Oh, sure..here you come, sneaking in the back door after being afraid to show your pathetic face at Nan's. I coulda hoisted two longjohns up the flagpole as easily as I did one! Who cares? We didn't miss your ugly puss anyway (Lorelei, on the other hand, is a different kettle of fish).Welcome back, sailor. Good to see your unique and almost non-existent sense of humor grace the blue pages again.. I'll be back soon.....  |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Somebody pass the popcorn! |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
Sure have missed reading your stories. Glad you're back. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Making the popcorn now Duncan, do you prefer yours with butter or extra butter, or not butter? Anyhow...you get the idea, lets make it a super large cuz I think we are gonna need it......(ducks out the door now quickly....) Like a red brick, |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Cigars! Did you say those stinky old cigars? He must have hid away, as all I could see was him huffing and puffing on those little white things that shorten your life span by 10 years, but cigars make you green!  Nice to see you here finally, about time you showed up. I willl just settle back now for the show (did you see all the pictures we took you two?) If not, here's the link to them (Hoot at Nan's - albums 1-6) http://community.webshots.com/user/mysteriasmuse Imagination is more important that knowledge |
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