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Open Poetry #20
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Twice Upon A Treasured Cloud
| Open Poetry #20 |
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Twice Upon A Treasured Cloud |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL 
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vacation in a liquid drowns a willing me and the potency of lips poised to drink poison steals what very breath I once said "I love you" with. Too many years ago too many tears ago we began to realize our mistakes. as this body trembles from leftover haze I shudder when thinking of taking another sip but I always seem to and the experience is always alluring until the stormy me gives in to the sunshine. Shaded eyes and heart hold proud like pageant contestants knowing their cues. Inside though I'm liquified bent without regret or reason to the dreamy side of my favorite drinks and I'm bound to find remorse with its mean spirited grin when I round the next corner or the next moment. too many years ago too many tears ago I was once a beautiful lover. How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Jennifer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Hey temp! A poignant and moving piece--like a vignette of portrait of loneliness and regret. I like the drifting journey of thought--it reminded me a bit in mood and tone of one of my favorite Elton John songs--"Talking Old Soldiers"--check that one out some time if you don't already know it--methinks you will like! Hugs. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I was once a beautiful lover. and I am sure you still are *s M |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
This I really liked...mucho well done, my friend. jwesley |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
we cannot drown in today. . .but only see the land ahead tomorrow. . . the loss here is very evident. . . well done. . . ------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Yes regret can sadden the soul...james |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Wow. Words beyond words. Only, really. |
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Moonlight Romeo
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982The heart of you |
To drown in today, but yet, we must tread for tomorrow. Thank you. What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Jenn, Me thinks your glasses are tainted! As are M's! Not that I don't like your poem you understand. Just not persuaded it's biographical.  I do like this write and its intensity. It's never too late to have a good childhood! Woohoo! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Jenn this took a second reading out loud to fully get the impact of your writing and when I did it was worth the time spent  ~* Sharon *~ |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Such sorrow and regret fills these words, sweet friend, I hope your yearning has now been settled by true love and now you feel like that beautiful lover again forever! (sigh) You always write the most honest and provoking pieces, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Jenn, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Jenn~ Shaded eyes and heart hold proud'' adore this.....hold strong, and proud... Lauren~ ~Sinking fast into |
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