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Open Poetry #20
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- Sour Grapes -
| Open Poetry #20 |
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- Sour Grapes - |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA 
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I realize that this is a less interesting metaphor to use, but, I do hope that it is just as meaningful and well expressed. I also wanted to write of a theme that I've never seen a poet use before, this way it makes my poem all the more unique I suppose Sour Grapes Grapes unpicked grow heavy on the vine by a heart barely hanging on to dreams waiting to be plucked on the pendulum of setting sun. A fragile stem once strong, ages to naught breaking away from the roots of hope, passed by in withered cry to shrivel and sour in the drought of tears drained to raisins. Oh, I would be a fine wine, perhaps a cabernet or chardonnay cradled in the cask of cacoethes to drink love's fruitful flavour through violins of dancing candlelight. Yet, there is no knight to sip of me as the goblet thus remains empty, and even the sweetest taste can turn to bitter kiss fading violet to green with envy gnarled by the creeping mist when the grapes of life are picked and discarded at random left behind to die in the dirt. By Melissa P. Monette [This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (04-18-2002 11:44 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Yet, there is no knight to sip of me as the goblet thus remains empty, and even the sweetest taste can turn to bitter kiss fading violet to green with envy gnarled by the creeping mist when the grapes of life are picked and discarded at random left behind to die in the dirt. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WOW! Melissa....this is really 'food' for thought here! *pun intended* Enjoyed this soooo very much! Into my library it goes. ~Hugs~ |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
It is a bittersweet wine that you write of, better to see how it ages over time, then throw it out if you don't like it! Nicely done Melissa~ |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
MelissaBee~ I think it's a very unique AND interesting metaphor...it conveys your message perfectly. breaking away from the roots of hope, passed by in withered cry to shrivel and sour in the drought of tears drained to raisins." Yes, definitely an excellent metaphor! I can really sink my teeth into it  Hehe, sorry, I couldn't help myself.*hugs* ~Krista  Your beautiful words & creativity allow me to connect with the same in myself. |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  WOW!!! Oh my gosh, I love this, sweet friend, I think this is an excellent analogy and another true classic to your ongoing fabulous collection! (kiss on cheek) Your words always touch my heart deeply, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Melissa, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I like this very much, Melissa... especially the second verse. Excellent analogy. *S* |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
you could even make the most overused metaphor new. . . great work Melissa. . . ------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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paladin
since 2001-08-05
Posts 930Pensacola,Fl. |
My goblet is filled to the brim with the sweet wine of your words. paladin |
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Chelsea~ Member
since 2001-02-09
Posts 260Ontario, CANADA |
missy, From what I can see you've used this metaphor very well, and, I also love the second verse. See ya soon |
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skyshine
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
And it was very well expressed, Melissa...interesting metaphor and not cliched.  ~sky I'm in charge, and I say question authority! |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Wonderful analogy Excellent work. |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
I think that the metaphor of the vine and its grapes cane through nicely, Melissa |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Thank you very much everyone for your support and thumbs up You see, I was a bit apprehensive to post this because when I told my mom a few days ago that I was writing a poem using grapes as the metaphor she thought I was crazy and assumed that it just couldn't work effectively as a poem...oh well, now I can say to her "I told ya so"  Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Oh, I would be a fine wine, perhaps a cabernet or chardonnay cradled in the cask of cacoethes to drink love's fruitful flavour through violins of dancing candlelight. ================================== your mom was wrong...you took the metaphor and made it your own...in your classic style...(guess shes got sour grapes now, huh?) j/kLove the vocabulary in this Melis...you even snuck in some alliterations. Well done girlie I love that your challengeing your muse to write about all kinds of things... it will always pay and make us a better poet. |
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athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
Melissa, What a powerful collection of emotions. The sentiment is dark, but so intense, and reflects on longings and desires we have all experienced. Yet, another introspective concept on the human soul, and all its flaws and yearnings. Another library addition to my collection.... Love, Elise |
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