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Open Poetry #20
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The longing of your summer
| Open Poetry #20 |
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The longing of your summer |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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I need the smell of your rain. The longing of your summer. The ache of your gentle goodbye lips. The light that plays gold notes in your hands. You lift my heavy careworn heart onto a scale of your manufacture. You seal my hands in moonlit ribbons. You cool my sweat away with soap. You pull the poison jewels of worry right out from my sleeping eyes. You keep them safely on your tongue. Girl, at least we tried. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I need the smell of your rain. The longing of your summer. The ache of your gentle goodbye lips. The light that plays gold notes in your hands. ================================ You seal my hands in moonlit ribbons. ================================ You pull the poison jewels of worry right out from my sleeping eyes. You keep them safely on your tongue. Girl, at least we tried. ================================= and you make it real hard to pick out fave lines...damn I love the way you write the ache...that last line is perfect. When your own emptiness is all thats getting through |
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Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Very nicely said.....  Lauren~ I would rather have one breath of his hair, one kiss of his mouth, one touch of his hand than an eternity without it. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Michael, Just wanted to let you know how much I love this.... makes me want for summer even more.... fantastic closing line! ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
That last stanza just kicked my butt Mike... *me thinks you do it on purpose* (she says while rubbing her sore rear end) great write dearest.... Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... [This message has been edited by devina (05-11-2002 04:40 PM).] |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
I need the smell of your rain. The longing of your summer. The ache of your gentle goodbye lips. The light that plays gold notes in your hands. *stunning* *s* Like a red brick, |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Yup....like this one too!! Chris Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
You pull the poison jewels of worry right out from my sleeping eyes. You keep them safely on your tongue. Girl, at least we tried. The last line is really a kicker, Bernie... at least you tried!  ~hugs from chipmunk to squirrelLyra |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Glad you all liked it. I'm not Bernie. But I appreciate your replies. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big huggssssss) Oh Michael, I'm sorry it didn't work out in the end, sweet friend, yes, at least you tried, and that is all that matters and you are bound to find all the joy in the world if you just continue to hold faith true! (sigh) This is very heartfelt, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
If you're not Bernie...I don't know your first name so, I'll just call you Mr.Squirrel and you can still call me MMe. Chipmunk if thats okay with you.  ~furry rodent hugsLyra |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Bsquirrel darling boy what a delight it is to read your writing. I’m always, eternally stunned by the way you shape and form a poem. This is outstandingly good. Wonderful writing, excellent utterly utterly perfect. I absolutely love it. The ache and the depth of the moment are encapsulated in this brilliant jewel of writing. In other words I love it utterly    Love and warm stuff As always Mushy To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79 |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
I could relate to this ~ and this line, I found to be fresh and original.. "You pull the poison jewels of worry right out from my sleeping eyes." |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
oh yeah, I do like this one...! Wow! Nice ending...nice imagery. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thank you everyone. *dispersement of furry rodent hugs*She said burn ... together. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
BSQ, malted melt of mellow dug it amigo |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks so much, DS. She said burn ... together. |
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