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Open Poetry #20
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Martie
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California

0 posted 2002-04-29 07:51 PM



Night folds

So quickly the night folds up the day
Taking each shadow’s crease
Slipping in across the porch until
Only the front door holds the sun

From the rocking chair where I watch
This sun-gladdened day seeps across the front lawn
And weaves across the street
As children’s voices start to quarrel

I hear the wind around the house now
It is the sound of afternoon’s closing door
A moan as time moves through the changing
And eats minutes and I can tell it hurts some

My skin is closing now too
Folding into the comfort of clothes
Pulling itself closed with fingers that fumble buttons
And flannel that has become fragile with soft

I watch the last shouting child curve fast
Around the hedge
Until there is just a piece of blue
Then the screen door slams and lights go on
With just a flicker of family covering the window

Watching has made me remember
When children held my skirt and called out
As the afternoon chaos swallowed the day
And that too hurts some




[This message has been edited by Martie (04-29-2002 08:28 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2002-04-29 08:35 PM


So quickly the night folds up the day
Taking each shadow's crease

Slipping in across the porch until
Only the front door holds the sun
===============================
I hear the wind around the house now
It is the sound of afternoon's closing door
A moan as time moves through the changing

And eats minutes and I can tell it hurts some

My skin is closing now too
Folding into the comfort of clothes
Pulling itself closed with fingers that fumble buttons
And flannel that has become fragile with soft
==============================
Watching has made me remember
When children held my skirt and called out
As the afternoon chaos swallowed the day
And that too hurts some
==============================

I just wanna hug ya for this one.
made me think of that old Croce song "time in a bottle" ...
Do ya know how cool this poem is? The personification of the day slipping to evening and of time and of aging is so uniquely,cleverly done...but most of all tenderly done. touching, beautiful write Martie-girl.

... and I don't know why ...
Why should love come down and just sweep me away
I want to fly ... but there are so many things in my way.

J Browne

Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-04-29 09:19 PM




(tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Martie, this is so heartbreaking, sweet friend, I can feel such sadness in these words, I hope everything is alright, as my heart goes out to all the children who endure this same kind of pain! (big hugggsssss) My thoughts go out to all the children of the world, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

3 posted 2002-04-29 09:27 PM


Martie, just when I think I can slip away from this computer 2get a late dinner ready 4us here, instead I decided ohhh I'll just take a peak at this post by my friend Martie, and gosh gurl you really know how2captivate a reader in eachNevery verse...
My admiration for the exquisite write and my heart hugz ya with bunches of teddybearhugz...
*~coco~*

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2002-04-29 09:33 PM


Jan--you already know my smile for your reply.

Noah..this is not about a child's pain or suffering, it is only the movement of time and me looking with nostalgia at the kids in the neighborhood where my kids grew up, and feeling a little old.  Thanks though for your concern.

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2002-04-29 09:34 PM


Coco...so good to see you!  Thank you for your sweet reply!
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2002-04-30 06:53 AM



Well fold me in and tuck me away...
until the night no longer stays...

Martie...don't you know I'm beaming over this one?

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
7 posted 2002-04-30 07:58 AM


like lover hands
night seems to lace fingers
into the velvet sky

ms martie you do it good

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2002-04-30 08:22 AM


Martie,
Can't say it better than JM. Excellent.

Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2002-04-30 08:47 AM


Martie~
So gently you've folded the day
into comfy corners of the night~

Beautiful thoughts dearest one~
*Hugs* for the remembers~
Love ya'
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
         noles1@totcon.com                    

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
10 posted 2002-05-01 10:23 AM



and all mothers with grown children can feel every single word that you penned here. I, for one, appreciate this a great deal!!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

11 posted 2002-05-01 10:44 AM


Beautiful, but I too wince at the endings a bit. (And I am fluffing and folding clothes which are piled at my feet while I read) So I must add, excellent use of metaphor...as always mmmarvelous mmmmartie, you paint your images vivid!
Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
12 posted 2002-05-01 11:08 AM


You sure do bring life to these pages
Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
13 posted 2002-05-01 01:37 PM



Martie, you've taken my breath away with this one, it's beautiful in it's own exuberant melancholy way.  I love the way you write life

Take care,
Melissa~

"Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding
wound...or a smiling mouth"

~Kahlil Gibran~

bsquirrel
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since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

14 posted 2002-05-01 02:08 PM


Loved this -- all the way to the bittersweet ending.
Marsha
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since 2000-07-10
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Maidstone Kent England
15 posted 2002-05-01 03:45 PM


Marti darling girl this is incredible writing, absolutely outstandingly good. I truly love this diamond from you. Utterly utterly amazing writing it’s so full of beauty you are an amazing writer, truly awesome writing here. So softly and sweetly you’ve folded time with this delight

  
Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

16 posted 2002-05-01 09:12 PM


speechless...

fumble fumble...something to say..

...

this is just...

fragile with soft..

I WANT that line..

and you know - the last line just caps it off...

so, when's the book coming out??

K

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
17 posted 2002-05-01 09:30 PM


I hear the wind around the house now
It is the sound of afternoon’s closing door
A moan as time moves through the changing
And eats minutes and I can tell it hurts some


Yess..it does. You are so fantastic at making me feel your words. They are lovely and real and sooo touching. Thanks for that.

Sincerely,
Reg

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